Jun 11, 2022
The fish-out-of-water MC in Miieie serves as a good platform to introduce us to the seemingly-vast floating city of Rosenfel. Between the sights and smells (or occasionally purposeful lack thereof), Rosenfel is starting to come alive as a setpiece for the story. I'm interested to see how the dynamic between Miieie and Endra will play out going forward- as well as to how their eminent class status difference will manifest.
Critical Notes:
For how many times the phaetonmobiles were mentioned, I'm not sure if I got a solid lead on their appearance.
The narration has a slight tendency to tell what was already shown, eg:
"...experience in Rosenfel! The city was different and big!"
"What a high strung girl, and forgetful, too!"
Something to look out for on a smaller note are minor grammatical issues eg:
"Her hair was snow white and would've ran down her back if they were not sorted into two perfect tails."
Overall, this is a promising start, and I'm curious to see what you have in store for the worldbuilding going forward~
