Jun 26, 2022
I saw your post on the MAL creative corner forum and I felt obligated to give you a read <3.
This first chapter is quite well written, and I mean that genuinely- The choice of setting is practically unseen for me in terms of light novels, which means it's quite fresh in my opinion, and the intricate, intimate look at this artist's journey is both too relatable and too cute for me not to like it ^-^. That, and there is some genuinely stunning narration a la:
"a riot of earthy tones"
"but did not include the epilogue of the skirmish"
In terms of critique, I'd say that the early paragraphs are quite large, especially for a light novel format. It'd be nice to see them paced out a tiny bit more. Otherwise, having the dialogue outside of quotes threw me off a little, but I know that's a stylistic thing and it's at the very least quite consistent and intentional here.
