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Jungleevilshadow

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I like reading and I like gaming what else do I have to say?

registered at: Jul 15, 2022

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Jul 23, 2022

To:potadd

Sir this is a Wendy's.

City of Flowers

Chapter:0

Jul 23, 2022

I see that in the darkest timeline the treacherous six states of New England. Seceded from The Union of their American brethren and instead decided to go empire building. Little did the brave American forces that rose to meet them know their firearms were useless against the dastardly traitors liocensing equipment which made all weapons outside of unregistered nerf guns inoperable. Thus was the beginning of the New England empire and the beginning of great cringe.

Seriously I get that Cyberpunk has a reputation for being gritty, oppressive, grimdark, and generally unpleasant but this feels like a deconstruction that misses the point of a deconstruction. The point of a deconstruction is not to simply dissemble something. It is to take it apart, see how it works, then fix it back to its original state or even make it better. This chapter tells us nothing about the "New England Empire" the summary mentions, nor does it mention the main character unless the baby Qiu Lin was sheltering is her which is a pretty common trope. There is really no reason for a death squad to be gunning down civilians so early in a story. Plenty of other ways to showcase how oppressive the city is in more subtle ways rather than kicking in the door and burning the house down. Also, I assume Qiu is talking about herself, but she is clearly still alive though maybe I am not comprehending it. Or at least she was alive at that moment. RIP Asian grandma.

City of Flowers

Chapter:0

Jul 23, 2022

To:Jungleevilshadow

I failed to post a funny. I bet that crash was a direct response to the fact somebody thought it would be a great idea to give Miss Frizzle a Eurobeat CD.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

You know I was ready to point out the mythological inaccuracies of how Cupid being very low on the bottom of the angelic food-chain would mean he would be ineligible for this sort of thing. But you beat me to the punch with your research and your reasoning which I find to be very solid even if it is suspiciously convenient. Seeing as how you know the Angel of Death would probably notice his list is suddenly a bit longer and realizing someone is monkeying around behind his back and go game end them, or at least in Cupid's case smack the back of his head with his scythe.

As for Cupid I was honestly expecting the Greek version who like many of the gods is a massive prick. Instead, I get the pleasant surprise of seeing a Cherub also named Cupid being a massive prick at first only to open up that he screwed up and wants to fix it. Honestly it is a bit touching even if he is covering his own mistakes and ass.

And it will be a sight to see when they play PUBG dating simulator against each other. Winner Winner Bucket of Chicken Dinner. To be honest I would be very tempted to stay in Heaven myself. I'd only go back for my grandparents and even then, I would probably not even bother playing Cupid's game instead spending final moments with my loved ones as I had the balls to spite a servant of God. Of course, that is what I would think I would do in reality I would probably be scrambling for my life trying to not get reconnected back to God's Wifi. Anyways was a decent enough read might read another chapter sometime.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

To:Jungleevilshadow

By the way before I forget. Being an asshole ironically is the same as being cringe ironically. Both of them are annoying and that entire opening was both cringe and annoying.

My Childhood Best Friend is a VTuber! (OsananaV)

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

You know I want to make witty and funny commentary about this story as well as give constructive critique. This story has really thrown me for a loop I cannot tell if this is a satire on the whole state of anime and otaku or if this is a shitpost designed as a story for this site. Or worse this is a genuine story, and the author actually thought it was good to post. I am personally hoping this is some big, brained satire that I am too ignorant to comprehend I don't watch Rick and Morty I clearly don't have a 400 IQ.
The only possible compliment I can give to the main character is that he will never get even a crumb of pussy. He is in an anime alright, and it is You No Getsu some Bitches! I am not one for eugenics or abortion. But damn that entire opening spiel and the trainwreck of cringe I put myself through has made me reconsider my stance. And the only thing I can find relatable about him is that I to have a massive backlog mainly of video games that I have not yet got around to playing and really should. Thankfully, I am not a grade S fucking simp like this dude.

There is nothing "cute" or "quirky" about a fake ass Vtuber girl hiding behind a poorly made persona to belittle and mock those that support her as the talentless hack she is. The Vtuber is basically a modern-day siren serenading men and leading them to their doom and financial domination. No seriously the best I can describe people like the MC is people that have a fetish for being ruined financially.

If anything, this whole story makes me sad. This man could have done so much and instead wastes his time simping for a woman that has no idea he ever exists. His only saving grace so far is he is not a Discord mod grooming kids but given how much of a scumbag vibe he has I wouldn't put that past him either. I mean shit I waste my time behind a screen I can admit it. But I am realizing it and trying to do better.

In short, I highly regret reading this and wish for the embrace of death. Who will likely not come because I have never dated a woman. "You do not date women because you are a disgrace."
"I do not date women because I want to be the best partner I can be."
"We are not the same."

"What do you think o' that, Mr. gacha gamblan, Fortnite dabban, Vtuber worshippan, Twitch streaman, isekai watchan, microtransaction buyan, Funko collectan, meme spoutan, Last of Us defendan, esports gobblan, cally-breek-tattie?" - The Scotsman 2020.

For real the MC has only ever won the sperm race and that was likely rigged in his favor.

My Childhood Best Friend is a VTuber! (OsananaV)

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

Hey hey people Jungle here. Today we will be taking a journey to dystopian future Japan. A land ravaged by monke Tyrannid hybrids from 40K that remind me of the Dark Elder because of their name Homunculi though that is probably just me being me. The first thing that drew me to this novel was the fanart. I find it to be aesthetically pleasing gives the vibe of a sort of MMO game or a secret agent flick. The pacing was well maintained and the reveal of the creature that was the enemy of humanity in their bloody feud certainly ticked the boxes of xeno monster. I also find it realistic that Faust can admit to being wrong as well as not feeling any sort of remorse for his actions. He has the humility to understand that he was wrong that humanity would not choose victory even though he probably should. Given how he is a scientist and a human I mean we live out of spite to begin with, and we will certainly try to win a war of extinction with an alien menace out of spite as well.
I will say it is odd how Faust would ask out of everything a last meal and a conversation with a priest. If he has been denied the right to trial by combat. The right to an attorney aka Saul Goodman getting him out of his warcrime charges. And the right to commit harakiri which I believe the literal translation is belly ripper and is what the samurai did when committing ritual suicide. What made him think that The Ashwalker would take him to the local McDonjos for some chicken nuggies and fries?

Speaking of which I like that she has the title Ashwalker given she ended the war by killing the queen according to the story summary. Hopefully in a later chapter we see the onset of that fateful encounter and its climax. As well as dive into why despite that impressive achievement. She was not given much in the way of honors. Almost as if she might have intentionally turned them down.

Something that bugs me is that the chamber that Faust is in could have easily served as an execution ground. Given how contained it was and how she was likely going to be carrying out his sentence. I sincerely doubt she would have merely escorted him there to let someone else do the deed. When she also has a stake in wanting to see justice be meted out to him. I assume he needed to be alive so they can talk, or you know it was because of some bureaucratic rules of not executing a prisoner in a jail cell. Which makes more sense that fits better? Anyways good first chapter I give it a 9 Yurinhalt out of a 0 remorseful Faust.

Faustic

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

To:Jungleevilshadow

An addendum to my review because it was too good to leave out.
>Writer says he is the mods
>Has Walter White I Am the Danger energy.
"Skylar you think the cover art will be removed by the mods. You think me a normal writer. No, I am The Moderator! A user checks their story and sees it taken down and you think that of me? No, I am the one who removes the story!"

She Can't Be That Perfect!!

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2022

Oh God well I think I am on 'That Side' of Honeyfeed. Also looking up what that one tag meant and how it can be translated to young girls. If I end up on a watchlist I'll know who to blame. Jesting aside there is quite a bit to fix on this first chapter. Firstly, who even are these two characters? Are they friends? Something more? You simply flung us into the deep end without a chance to orient ourselves to the waters we are in. The summary and cover art seem to suggest a lesbian romance, or I guess you would call it Yuri. I don't know I don't speak moon runes. Yet instead, we are being teased and assaulted with maid uniform fetishism as well as "BDSM theory". And the way the characters talk it leads to an assumption of friends with benefits relationship.

There really seems to be no chemistry between these two outside of "ha ha funny sex fiends and perverts." And some of the pose and phrasing is pretty awkward. My Brother in Christ I could have lived my life without reading the phrase "The man has balls the size of roasted peanuts." The fact that I read it will forever haunt my dreams.

I agree with Henry especially seeing as he walked in on them on the cusp of exhibitionist sex in a public high school. Again, why is the maid outfit even necessary in this story? Why do we need to hear about 'mental damage' and the fact this dude not only made her a maid outfit he has seen her panties? I think you are in the wrong place Fanfiction is at least two doors down from Deviantart.

In all seriousness, I would do massive revisions of this chapter. Drop the maid stuff and the sex talk. You can have sex and teasing in your story without having to be so forward and brash with it. A little goes a long way as they say. I would also recommend reading some stories with subject material like this especially if they are terrible. After all a good movie director watches bad films to improve on his craft and avoid the mistakes of what made a film terrible to watch. So should an author take the same lessons. Anyways this has been enough horny posting on main for today come back next time whenever that is.

She Can't Be That Perfect!!

Chapter:1

Jul 22, 2022

You know I've always liked the number five. Five fingers, five toes, a five-finger discount, The Five the harbingers of the Apocalypse from the hit game Shadowman and Shadowman Remastered. Coincidentally this is also the fifth chapter and it brought up some interesting insights to consider. First being that despite the world being made up entirely of monstrous entities sans of course our two only human characters. What would Sherlock Holmes, and Watson look like as monsters? Because there is a plethora of mythological and physical creatures for them to be. Come to think of it the number of monsters being comparable to real life human warriors, conquerors, explorers and so forth would bring about many interesting prospects and possibilities. Kiro also has a point instead of being creepy stalkers they could have just sat on the bleachers, but I guess that is not as thrilling as trying to be cloak and dagger alphabet soup agents that are clearly obvious.

You know when I saw the title my mind went to two possible locations: the first being an actual jungle and the second being a sort of underground night club with a ring of sorts. I was not expecting it to be a skatepark and I am disappointed the greatest skater of all time Tony Hawkman was not there to promote the latest EA trash fire of mediocre skate games. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! This also brings up the interest of monster anatomy as from what I am familiar with Gargoyles are typically creatures of stone made flesh. Which means it could be possible to "birth" them in this world by carving them and using some sort of magic to bring them to life. That or when two Gargoyles get frisky the magical stone mason stork videotapes them then sends them a catalogue of potential stone babies. Which while sounding voyeuristic is not entirely weird for a natural process.

Then there is the matter of werewolves which while they can be born can also be created via infection same with vampires which so far seem to be absent same with the undead in general. Though maybe there is some systematic discrimination or the like at play. Seeing as how you know monsters many of whom share animal characteristics would be very afraid of the dead and dying as would normal humans. Could also be the denizens of the night prefer to be entirely separate from the citizens of the day. And thus, live and work accordingly.

Regardless, waiting to see how this brawl goes. Personally, my money is strongly on the Gargoyle rock and stone has the advantage over flesh and bone after all. Also, if you haven't yet buy Shadowman Remastered and the original versions aside from the PS1 release do it now to get better at reviewing or else suffer playing Ya Boi Raid Shadow Legends!

No, I am not the Todd Howard of this series I just think it is cool and yes, I agree with how relatable it is that time moves slower the more you look forward to its passage.

Are You Real?

Chapter:5

Jul 20, 2022

These are some lofty but worthy relationship goals. What young budding romantic of an artist would turn down the opportunity to build a relationship whilst playing in real life Pokémon Snap minus the camera? On the subject of the chapter title while it may be clever to include the object in this case the Juicebox to give a justification for its naming convention. It can also be used poorly or wrongly to cover for drawing a blank on names if you find yourself struggling to come up with something to describe the chapter as a whole.

Suddenly seeing Ai's last name, I now understand that Kiro got a better deal with how much shorter and easier to pronounce his last name. In fact, despite his repeated assurances that he is not an athlete he cleared the distance from Lovecroft's class to the cafeteria in what would likely set or break a record or two for a 100-meter dash. Course that only other human pussy in the school got him acting a bit unwise as well. I have to make the jest I failed to make last chapter which is if that monsterpedia was an encyclopedia of monster girls. This would be a very different story.

Lastly, I believe Lovecroft is not giving enough credit to human emotion and resolve. The path to enlightenment could very well start with or involve pretty girls somewhere along the road. A means of resisting the temptation so as to further progress on an enlightened path as well as showing a fall to temptation and later the shrugging off of it to once more embark on the path to true enlightenment. Thanks for making me smile and shudder at the visual of a Wyrm an essentially older relative of a dragon completely snake-like. Doing cartwheels while mimicking Ouroburos. I wonder if that has ever caused a monster to have a mental breakdown at the sight of seeing such an awe imposing creature doing cartwheels despite lacking legs or arms.

Are You Real?

Chapter:4

Jul 18, 2022

This might be because of my dirty mind and juvenile sense of humor. But every time I read the words "hands met his cheeks with a resounding clap." My mind goes straight to the gutter. Also seems this planet is indeed Earth because even when you are being taught by a Lovecraftian monster professor with a father who is a very friendly and cool Clifford the Big Red Dad. If there is one test you can perform to test whether you are in the real world is to see just how fragile Apple Smartphones are with no way to repair them outside of third-party support or donating your organs to science.
The classic and reliable "has no common sense to get the potential love interest's name." Come to think of it been a long time since I have seen that trope be used so maybe you might could use it in a way I am not expecting. If anything, I am more interested in how despite having a totally monster dad. His mother has yet to have her species revealed. I am guessing Kiro might have got the recessive genes and became human. That or he was always a monster without realizing who suddenly became human and has always believed himself to be one.

Are You Real?

Chapter:3

Jul 16, 2022

To say this chapter is a rollercoaster would certainly be an adequate term. I mean we go from potential cat girl being bullied to some massive dommy mommy dog that straight up Yakuza punches her subordinate for not running it by her first. And said subordinate idolizes or rather thirsts for the leader so much she finds it "cool" to be abused like that. While the voice of reason is clearly tired of all of this. Odd how he manages to run a mile after a girl without even realizing it. Even more so how he immediately started sketching something only for the pencil to break hopefully that is not a metaphor for his own smaller pencil later in the story.

>headphones
>Cat-girl motif
>Actually, a human
>blue stockings
My brother this is worse than a monster. This is a Twitch E-Girl better known by its description of THOT! Odd place for a title drops like that but better than having it halfway through the story.

Are You Real?

Chapter:2

Jul 15, 2022

It is rather jarring how much exposition fed into the very first chapter. And it feels as if it is throwing the reader into the deep end too soon too fast. Why is Kiro the only human in this school? How are there so many monsters that have been integrated into normal society? It really gives me vibes of "My Gym Partner's A Monkey." Though the premise of that show was Adam was transferred to an animal school because Lion was his last name. So, was this the case with Kiro Lane? Because their mother was a monster for giving him the last name of Lane and the first name of Kiro.

Are You Real?

Chapter:1

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