lolitroy / Comments

lolitroy

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143 Followers

unofficial semicolon inquisitor

P.S: I usually read back as a courtesy but if you're gonna read JUST so I return the favor, heed my warning: I won't.

registered at: Aug 04, 2022

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aaa

Jun 16, 2026

script...

Reverse Engineering the Villainess

Chapter:1

Jun 16, 2026

To:Gemini Daydream

MODS? WOW. MODS????

National College of Sexual Arts

Chapter:2

Jun 16, 2026

it ok just run spellchecker and watch for tense changes, also that weird 4th wall break took me out a bit but maybe the narrator will be an actual character?

OLHENERO (The Old Legendary Hero is The New Legendary Hero)

Chapter:0

Jun 16, 2026

To:Mario Nakano 64

I mean, this volume will probably be 70k ish long but I might continue after bc I don't think I could conceivably wrap up the story otherwise

The Day "Ms. Perfect" Snapped and Tricked the Manga Club Into Going to Another World as Supporting Characters for her Chosen One Antics

Chapter:28

Jun 16, 2026

To:Mario Nakano 64

webnovel length not cottest uwu

The Day "Ms. Perfect" Snapped and Tricked the Manga Club Into Going to Another World as Supporting Characters for her Chosen One Antics

Chapter:28

Jun 16, 2026

To:Gemini Daydream

what chaoer was i rdeasing

National College of Sexual Arts

Chapter:2

Jun 16, 2026

To:Gemini Daydream

why are you here go away

I Don't Want to Be Fixed! I Am the Evil Duke!!!!

Chapter:1

Jun 14, 2026

I will never be the same after reading this

Magical Mommy Makeover

Chapter:1

Jun 14, 2026

To:GustavoMM

oh yea that makes sense
I was wondering what the anomaly was,,,,,,,

Sun & Moon

Chapter:2

Jun 14, 2026

I'm ambivalent on the "stiff" prose and dialogue because I'd chalk a lot of it to you being ESL and starting out, so rather than focus on that I'd say that, aside from being unable to find any link between this and the prompt, it feels more like a scene than a short story. Before delving into these I would suggest reading more about the way they work, because this was a middle with no beginning or end. Additionally, the seemingly endless dialogue about nothing got kind of tedious to read because, like... what's the point? This could work in a slice of life ANIME, maybe, but this isn't an audiovisual medium where you can elevate inane dialogue with slapstick and/or funny expressions or whatever. I guess that the idea is incest imouto takes her bro to an animecon to make him touch grass, then they go back and he's like, oh wow maybe the world outside my room isn't that bad. There's something there, but the execution wasn't all that. Maybe cutting down the animesque dialogue could work to this story's benefit, as well as properly set up a beginning and end. gg

Sun & Moon

Chapter:2

Jun 14, 2026

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO ADMIRE YOUR CREATION SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD PEAK WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE PEAK I AM SEEING AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. PEAK. PEAK.