lolitroy / Comments

lolitroy

I usually read back as a courtesy but if you're gonna read JUST so I return the favor, heed my warning: I won't.

apparently my writing style is too avant-garde for the weebs or some shit but if you ask me that's just a polite way to tell me I have terminal skill issue

registered at: Aug 04, 2022

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aaa

Dec 04, 2024

we share ninety eight percent of our DNA with greater primates so I suppose they look less human than I thought

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:3

Dec 04, 2024

nvm

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:1

Dec 04, 2024

am I insane or is this the second story I read from you where you open with a no name soldier that dies while the robot waifu who's probably become the mc survives

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:0

Dec 04, 2024

I'll say first of all that I'm having a lot of fun not despite it being a corny shounen but because it is. I mean that unironically. The story opening with a flashback to the angry protagonist's tragic backstory, cutting to him performing an extraordinary feat? Coming into contact with a mysterious organization that can help him achieve his goals? Them recruiting him after finding mysterious potential? PEAK.

Thing is... yeah, it's very hard to read because of poor grammar. English isn't my first language, either. It's not about that. It's about the constant mis of past and present tense, the complete disregard for punctuation, no scene breaks, and the numerous instances where multiple people talk in the same paragraph or when dialogue is said in a vacuum where I don't know who said what because I barely know who they are, because I can barely follow the story with the crude way it's told. I say all of this because none of these are hard fixes. I'm not calling you out on irregular syntax or spelling mistakes (both of which I'm pretty sure I commit, especially the first one). Punctuation is the same across many languages, including yours and mine. Studying the way dialogue is formatted isn't hard, or how to do scene breaks. If not by reading, it's something you can easily look up. That alone would improve this story a lot. The substance is there, but the package makes it unfortunately hard to follow.

Slaying 10,000 Dragons

Chapter:3

Dec 03, 2024

To:SkeletonIdiot

it's either this or a pyramid scheme

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:12

Dec 03, 2024

they should've just become cryptobros

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:12

Nov 23, 2024

🙀 Sorry for the comment on first chapter, Your fast pace and action sequence are shine bright here. the characteristic, the moment, the thought are here, in these action. 🙀 🔪

💥 This chapter is very good. 📔

The Governor's Queen

Chapter:0

Nov 21, 2024

the robot's sweat drop emoji is emblematic of this story as a whole

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:10

Nov 19, 2024

my favorite BL of the season

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:9

Nov 13, 2024

small nitpick, but 'unable to tell him the truth just yet' is kind of redundant because the entire chapter like,,, already showed that. so why tell it? his intentions aren't exactly subtle

Fake Love

Chapter:2

Nov 11, 2024

hamburger
hamburge
hamburg
hambur
hambu
hamb
ham
ha
h
hi
him
himb
himbo
himbos

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:7

Nov 09, 2024

I'm confused
is she a clairvoyant or

The Girl Who Saw It All

Chapter:3

Nov 09, 2024

so when did history diverge

The Girl Who Saw It All

Chapter:1

Nov 05, 2024

post post modern

Ronove

Chapter:2

Nov 05, 2024

she grinned, rolling her eyes

try doing that irl

31st Century Teens

Chapter:1

lolitroy

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aaa