Jun 05, 2023
Good start. Fairly solid writing, though there are one or two sentences where I think something is missing, such as "He entered the building and recoiled slightly had the high pitched..." and you need to work on punctuation: there are quite a few commas missing. The MC seems likeable... not so sure about the girl, but it's not like I instantly dislike her or anything. I got a few good chuckles towards the end, so I think you have talent in comedy (which I, honestly, envy you for).
