Nov 08, 2023
To:Bubbles
Thanks for the valuable feedback.
What I was trying to convey was the unfairness of life is unfair and that he was struggling between the idea of dying and remaining alive.
On one side he was trying to justify him dying by linking it to the idea of something like a trade of giving his life for saving someone. On the other hand he was trying to find reasons to stay alive for which the girl remaining alive acted as an anchor. But after that the unfairness kicked in again and the only thought that came to his mind for justifying it was that the trade really needed to be completed.
And yeah I really do need to work on the writing style and trying to set the environment. But I think it was needed to keep his inner thoughts inside instead of saying them loud because they are supposed to portray his internal conflict and he was not there to open up to the girl to begin with.
Thanks again for the feedback.