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THRU THE SACRED WINDOW THE SPARKS WILL FLY! AND DREAM AWAY INTO THE OPEN SKY! A SILENT RAY OF LIGHT WILL PENETRATE BETWEEN THE LONELY AND THE SICK! THE END WILL COME SOON, SO KISS ME QUICK!
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Aug 20, 2023
amelia is da devil111!
To:Pernodi
happy to help!<3
One thing I would suggest to you is to add some suspense to such "walking in the city" chapters - for example, they go to the boat owner and as they give him the money, he asks "are you tourists from far away?" or just some stranger talks to them in the street about the wanted witch and his lover, just to add some suspense (what if they get found out?), and not just have them normally walk around without nothing to worry about.
pretty sure the word is "hypnotic"😅
Very sweet ending😍
Aug 19, 2023
To:ReadKey
nonono, you dont have to, im just saying my opinion :3
Alright, fair.
In my opinion, the prologue would've been not so confusing if it started as Hiroshi just being a normal person, walking around and being friendly or something. This way the plot twist at the end would be more intriguing and in general awesome, at least to me.
That end was a nice twist tbf
If the story is gonna revolve around these two, I don't understand the significance of the prelude - what does it do? What I mean by that is that, the story element in the prelude chapter and most of the setups there are pretty useless and unnecessary. We might as well have started the scene with Hiroshi just killing the couple instead of building up something that in reality has no significance in the real story.
How does he get flustered when she's close, if she's his girlfriend??😆
Aug 18, 2023
bro really said whatever to the government sending children to their possible death
Tbh I'm on Kori's side of the argument🤔
To:ArufaBeta
they're like 100 and something kilometers away from each other, as for the dinner, there won't be awkwardness, cuz Yai would just steal every conversation xd. Thank you for reading and I will be getting to your novel right now!<3
Aug 17, 2023
To:Shulox
HE HAD TO DO IT, HE HAD TO
Thank you, Shulox!<3
