Jan 25, 2025
First off, congrats on finishing your story! 🎉 I'm just going to throw all my thoughts here. Heads up, I'm writing this super early in the morning, so if any of this doesn't make sense... yeah, same here.
Your story is the kind of story that, imo, is perfect for late-night reading. Just fun and easy to follow. There's a lot I really enjoyed. For one, Airi’s internal monologues. They almost felt like their own character, which I loved. Naomi and Brainy were also really well written characters. Naomi's mix of bubbliness and her, uh, violent tendencies was great, and Brainy was super relatable since she seemed to think the same way I did most of the time LMAO
The world-building was also on point. I saw someone mention it might’ve slowed the start of the dating show, but tbh, I thought it worked. Getting to learn about the future through Airi’s POV was worth the detour.
Ok, some nitpicks. The Draxionex brothers felt like they had so much potential, and I kind of wish they’d gotten more of the spotlight. They could’ve been hilarious rivals for Issei or even a fun comedic duo helping Airi get closer to him. I totally get that tight contest deadline was prob why they didn't have a lot of screentime, but if you ever revisit the story, giving them a bigger role could be cool.
Other things. Airi’s excitement about the tech was super cute, but there were a lot of exclamation marks in her internal thoughts. Also, I think you could’ve tied more of the world-building into Airi and Issei’s dates to make their romance even more dynamic. Speaking of their romance, I wasn’t fully sold on their chemistry at the start, but that lottery ticket chapter really pulled everything together.
Overall, your story was such a fun read, and I really hope you keep writing. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next! 
