Mar 28, 2025
To:Swagzaur
Thank you so much for reading and for the critiques ^^
It makes me very happy that you enjoyed my novel, i always get mega excited when i see a new face is reading! I am glad you think the novel is strong and I feel so proud that it has your vote😁
I find it super interesting that you loved the "before the take off arc" the most, I would have personally liked for it to have been longer and maybe slower paced. I felt like it was a bit too much to have everyone thrown together all at once and had there been less word limit contraints and more time, I would have probably extended that bit. However, if the contest wasnt the way it is, i doubt the novel would have looked like this or made in the first place. So i cant complain about, this story exists because of the contest and i wrote it because of the pressure that comes from the deadline. In the end I am greatful for the contest and its rules
On the subject of the Young Aryans part, I know it may seem like filler but allow me to elaborate a bit further about it. As much of cartoonsish filler villian episode as it may seem, it was a very personal part that i had to put in. I feel like when you do any kind of creative work, a part of you comes out into it. How is this random episode significant? Well(prepare for long rant):
That entire episode was my personal frustration and disdain i have with an attitude that is very common in my country. That neutrality for the sake of it is somehow virtous and the platitude that the "truth is somewhere in the middle". The first half of the story showcases all of the benefits neutrality brings, both the americans and russians give various benefits to Nova Occasio, ships, weapons, inteligence and so on. We even see how having a neutral perspective in the cold war helps Brigham understand how brainwashed Roy and Ana are and the importance of seeing humanity in others.
However, I strongly belive that having a neutral stance when faced with evil is completely morally bankrupt, both on a micro and macro level. The abuse hitomi faced from her parents and seeing literal neo nazis, these types of people would seek to find a "middle ground" or even worse would shrug and say "dont care and it doesnt affect me". Now both of these examples are pretty extreme, the nazis cartoonshly so, but one doesnt need to look at fiction to see that these "neutral people" would behave and think that way in real life. They, in the real world, in my country, would look at protesters on the street fighting for justice and democracy in a non violent and peaceful resistance against a violent, oppresive and authoritarian government that denies any responsibility, these people would sit and say lets find a middle ground, both sides are in the wrong, or i dont care it doesnt affect me. A micro example was an incident, also in my country, a young girl 12 years old was molested in the bus, in broad daylight, in front of everyone and nobody in that bus said or did anything. They just looked away and probably thought its not my buisness. The pepretrator was arrested later that day(because he attempted to rob a bakery), but the girl, the victim was unprotected by the society where the majority hold the opinion of a "virtous neutrality".
Also while the story is largely meant as a celebration of democracy and democratic values, on their journey they behave much like a micro society and government, with different powers and responsibilities. The story is also a condemnation of the populist idea that for something to be "democratic", majority opinion is enough. The majority can often be tyranicall and sensless, like the episode with Ana's lynching, we need rules and procedures, just because the majority wants something doesnt mean it should happen. With the neo nazi episode i wanted to show that being a good citizen means standing up to that majority, like Brigham does throughout the story, he has a "mandate" to be their captain, he needs the support of the majority, but not to just follow blindly the will of the mob.
And finally i wanted to clown on neo nazis, i hate how they are always portrayed as these imposing, scary and strong forces. When in reality they are a bunch of insecure cosplaying losers that attack those that cant defend themselves in the moment.
When i wrote this novel, my country was in a much worse state, now many attitudes are changing and hopefully the wind of change is coming :)
This was a very long rant i do apologize, i hope this was insightful and whether any of this came through this clumsy filler episode, i hope you understand why i belived it needed to be there
