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A self-published author of "The Guardian of Hope."
Drafts available, up until Chapter 28~ Links below for the paperback and ebook~
Follow me on IG: erii1776 Find me on Discord: Erii#5151
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Aug 04, 2020
I smidges of pain as though you immersed yourself in the character's shoes. She couldn't catch a break. The way you've told this story so far is incredibly captivating.
It's sad how the character receives little help. Being told to change while under stress, I've heard that before myself. The tone you're setting is quite clear. I find myself in the shoes of this character pretty easily. This is really well done!
Wow, this was oddly relatable for my youth already. 😅
Aug 03, 2020
Once again, nailed the dialogue so well! But, that ending there... Wrapped in a layer of mystery for the next chapter.
Aug 01, 2020
To:QI
I typically consider the format people use for their stories. Considering this felt like a definite light novel I'd pick up and read I understand sometimes dialogue would be a little over the top. But, it still feels natural.
Jul 31, 2020
This was quite poetic and you have a pretty strong imgination when detailing scenes. I look forward to the next chapter!
These nuggets of information really paint a picture on your character's inner thoughts so well. So far, the past 2 chapters have been rather mellow, I'm expecting a gut punch quite soon!
This was quite a humble chapter here. I have to say your dialogue is always interesting. It's one of your strengths, I've noticed.
It's interesting to see this war between siblings could go. In the same vein you introduce another layer of complexity that keeps me guessing. The brothers are quite distinct in that respect in how it could potentially shape the story.
His decision was as I anticipated. I found his rationale relatable only in the sense that if he exempts himself from his own emotions he can attempt to mend another. But it comes at such a cost to one's psyche, but he's sadly complicit. This was quite a powerful chapter indeed.
I feel like Ryouta's decision will have far more dire consequences than he anticipates. He took the role of an outcast rather quickly in attempt to mend an issue. Such a "Hikki" move!
I think you're weaving the story quite well. Also, I'm interested to see what Ryouta decided.
Jul 30, 2020
I see. I shall press forward.
I most definitely am. 👍
That habit is working fine so far. It always dragged me back in to read more. I actually intended to read 2 chapters today. Keep it up! 😅
