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I'm new to writing and open to feedback.
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Dec 23, 2025
To:Vastaro
Ahhh nice. Hallo. I only know a little bit, not enough for a full conversation anymore though lol. But like I said I think your English sounds good so hopefully it doesn't discourage you❤️
To:Crys Meer
Ahahah I hear you I was worried it would be too fast but I needed to throw that in there for something else...👀 But I tried to write it more of the idea of them moving in together in future not right away, I don't know how well that came off though But I wanted to❤️The go to line
Dec 22, 2025
To:Sakura Mazaki
I'm glad that sentence resonated with you. Hopefully not in a bad way though❤️We can't always know the right answer, sometimes we just got to with what feels best and hope it works out Thank you for pointing that out
In one of your other comments you mentioned that your upcoming chapters you struggled with, but I didn't feel that at all. It flowed really well and seemed natural for your characters. You did a nice job.❤️ A small typo I think: "Luna?" I whispered. "What's wrong? Who is it?" Is it supposed to be Yuna here?
Is that the sound I hear👀jk jk You read so fast lol I didn't expect that I hope it's turning out cute and that the relationship is flowing well😭❤️
Not going to lie, I was stressing that Sora wasn't actually going to take her back😭 But her realization of Ren stealing her attention was so cute. Can't wait to see her heal in terms of her singing and come to terms with her feelings❤️
I'll let you know what I think when I read them. Sorry, I'm a slow reader so it takes me a while to get there lol but I'm sure it turned out well❤️
Yeah dialogue tags I don't believe are required. As I said it might just be my own preference. I haven't read many light novels so I don't know what's normal or not. But don't worry about that area too much as I think overall your dialogue flows really well. Your English is very good to me, I wouldn't have guessed it wasn't your first language. What's your first language?
Love seeing Ava's growth after everything❤️feels like we're on the way to a heartfelt ending
To:Mario Nakano 64
I'm hoping you enjoy the end. I reviewed my notes and hopefully this is the right direction. Thank you again for your advice, I always take it into consideration❤️
To:sarahxaa
Thank you❤️I appreciate your support
Dec 21, 2025
I'm glad to hear you like it. I was worried it was too simple of a chapter, but at the same time that's what I wanted lol. I hope you'll enjoy up until the end. I'm sad for it to end too but its been such an enjoyable story for me to write and I'm thankful for yours and everyone else's support.❤️
Overall very nice flow. Also cute showcase between him and his sister, and him and yuna (even though he doesnt know lol)❤️
This was a very cute chapter. Loved seeing the nervous sides❤️
Dec 20, 2025
Ren😭😭The man you are❤️