Aug 01, 2021
To:Fuzzy Rabid Usagi
Thank you for the super detailed feedback! I'll make sure to add more dialogue tags :)
In terms of switching POV, it was actually supposed to be Cecilia's interpretation of the story from Charlotte's voice because I thought it would be awkward to just have entire paragraphs in only quotes, but I guess I should make that more obvious.
Also yes, the death being reported suddenly is on purpose! I was trying to represent how the narrator was so shocked she didn't want to think about it herself. It was also an attempt to surprise the reader and make them do a double take on that section. Perhaps it was not too effective, so I'll go look at it again.
Thank you again for the comment!!