Nov 02, 2023
If I may. I'm enjoying the story, but your dialouge seems lackluster. Almost like the characters only speak as plot driven vehicles and not as people.
For example, when she Elizabeth figured out she was killed, it felt like her little ramble was only there for Death to find out Grimwald didn't exsist and to give her a seconc chance. It didn't feel like the rambling of a young woman crying over every lost hope and dream, resulting in her second chance.
That said. I love the plot and setting. I've always been a fan of grimdark, so a plaugeridden city is right up my rat-infested alley.
