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EliteWarrior910

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registered at: Jul 14, 2021

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aaa

Dec 23, 2024

A slap on the wrist? Well. A slap across the head and a warning? I feel like Ms.King has proven a few times that she's not exactly tame. They can't expect her to lie down obey, can they?

Iero

Chapter:19

Dec 10, 2024

This all feels too easy. Malik is gaslighting Talia and she believes him. Jessie and the squad say 'nuh uh,' and she flips right around. And is now able to channel chrono energy. Malik, as soon as he's captured, spills every bean he can. I thought he was afraid of shadow auction house? He's pretty liberal with information that could 'erase' him.
It feels like there's no real stakes when most struggles are too easily overcome.

Now, all that is not to say I dislike Chrono Knight. I wouldn't keep reading if I did. But I like to play devil's advocate and I almost always read in a dire tone so the lighthearted tone is often lost on me.

Anyway. I'ma keep reading. Let's see what shadow auction house has in store for us

Chrono Knight

Chapter:14

Dec 09, 2024

I wonder if Caspian had any evidence for Promethus in his apartment. It's surely gone by now though.

What's Asta's plan here? Hope the person following her pops back up to warn her for a third time? Then what? Just beat him up? As far as I know she doesn't have a weapon to threaten him with and she's not exactly persuasive.
Suppose I'll have to see.

Iero

Chapter:12

Dec 03, 2024

That interaction between Talia and Jessie seems a tad out of place. I think it would feel more organic if it happened exactly after the fight.
That advanced tecnique Jessie did also seemed too easy. No mention of countless hours of practice or the specifics of the techniques used to pull it off makes the move seem like something I could do given an hour or two with the chrono blade. Having Talia just say 'no rookie should be able to pull that off,' feels disingenous.

Anyway, I'm curious to see what situation Jessie's recklessness gets him tied up in. Here's to hoping our time cops can adapt to each other's style before something catasrophic! 🍻

Chrono Knight

Chapter:5

Dec 02, 2024

How do they find a disturbance? Is it a jedi sort of 'disturbance in the force' or do the knights have detectives going around finding disturbances? Surely they're not just relying on civilian reports.

And how many knights are there? If there's an acadamy and giant tower there must be a lot. And what's the mortality rate for knights? I'm just curious what the danger is for our team.

Sorry for all the logistics questions, this is how I have fun. 😂

Chrono Knight

Chapter:3

Dec 01, 2024

Who is Primrose? I don't remember seeing that name anywhere

Synthetic Love

Chapter:5

Nov 26, 2024

To:Doremine

I'm American myself so I only speak English. For now. I'm working on changing that, but I've never considered writing a story is a foreign language before. I'll probably give it a shot sometime.

Synthetic Love

Chapter:1

Nov 25, 2024

Ivy is wild for that. I mean sheeeesh, that girl is thristy!

Strays

Chapter:16

Nov 23, 2024

To:Doremine

No no, I didn't find it confusing at all. I was simply impressed.

And I feel that one, about how it gets harder as you go. I've been stuck on my own book for about 4 or 5 years. It's gone through 4 re-writes and I'm finally at a point that I'm proud to publish it. My only advice would be to keep writing this story to completion, even if it doesn't feel like it's any good. That way you get some practice for finishing a story because that's the hardest part to nail down.

Synthetic Love

Chapter:2

Nov 23, 2024

To:Doremine

I would not have guessed that English isn't your native language. The way you write is the same as most Americans. That's a compliment by the way. 😅
Out of curiosity, what is your first language?

Synthetic Love

Chapter:1

Nov 22, 2024

What happened here? There are significant improvments to the prose from the last chapter. Areas still need work of course, but that's true of anything.
Good work on that!

Synthetic Love

Chapter:2

Nov 22, 2024

There's not much I can say that Han hasn't already, so I'll just say I agree for the most part. You've got a good set up and decent characters that are bogged down by poor grammer and vauge prose. I used to edit people's essays so it both calls out to me and doesn't bother me at all. 😂

Anywayyy, I'm interested to see where this is all going, so I'ma continue reading.

Synthetic Love

Chapter:1

Nov 18, 2024

This chapter was strange. It stared out in someone else's pov before switching back to Asta at some point. And this might just be me, but it was hard to tell who was talking at times.
Sky also seems too aloof or Asta not angry enough. Her brother goes missing and the only clue is the last message he sends and Sky refused to decode it. I'd like to see some sparks flying some butting of heads here.

Anyway. Sorry for the sudden unsolicited advice. I'm interested to see what you have planned here.

Iero

Chapter:5

Nov 17, 2024

I'm sure he'll be fine. Perhaps a bit more mechanical and entirely less human next time we see him though.

Iero

Chapter:3

Oct 11, 2024

It's amazing how often innocent sparring sessions turn spicy. In my personal 'study' it's nearly 100% of the time.

Strays

Chapter:13

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