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Shady

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I want to make some money.

registered at: Jul 17, 2021

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Aug 15, 2021

To:Shellback

Long story short: Yes

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:9

Aug 03, 2021

Jack's kinda an ass, but he's hilarious. Kind of a funny parody of 'nice guys'. I was dying of laughter when two slashers ended up targeting the same couple. The concept's really out there, feels like a Tarantino flick, but it should be a fun romp.

If I could prod, I think you squeeze too much into a single paragraph. It feels cluttered when you do it like that. My rule of thumb is to focus on one character's actions and intentions in a paragraph, then separate the focus to another one on a different one. But I'm an amateur, so don't take my word as gospel.

My slasher? Uhh, a guy in his undies wearing pants on his head. Weapon? Uhh, chainsaw! Call him Pantsman!

Slashers

Chapter:1

Aug 02, 2021

Am I nuts or does the title for this chapter read atome game?

Anyway, the premise seems pretty standard of the villainess isekai genre so I wonder what you'll do to put your own spin on it.

Who will the Villainess choose?

Chapter:1

Jul 28, 2021

To:Deleted User

Thanks for reading! Ryuji's went through a few iterations in my planning phase till I decided the story would be funnier if he was receiving his comeuppance, rather than being a sympathetic guy to be pitied. I thought that the subject matter and themes would be better portrayed through someone egoistic and headstrong, which is why I wrote him this way.

I think an 8.5 feels too high given my writing ability in comparison to a lot of entries in this contest, but I'll accept it graciously and hope you're willing to stay on this ride till the end.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 25, 2021

To:Syed Al Wasee

I think my biggest hurdle is getting anyone to sit down and read about a jerk. But I think the irony of his personal worldview and his situation is the joke. But I do understand that it can get difficult stepping out of the POV character and judging him separately from his narration.

And yeah, sure, I'll try to make some time to read what you got.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 25, 2021

To:Supersession

The whole story is extremely meta. I think the MC's ego can be overbearing, but if it's funny, then so be it. Although, I don't actually consider him a 'real' writer at all, just someone who inflates his own ego into believing he is one. Him looking down on Light Novels is more accurately seen as someone who can't make it to the top, but drags down those who make smaller steps ahead of him.

I'm a fan of metahumour, so I'll have an eye out for what you've got!

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 21, 2021

To:Arashi Sensei

Thanks for the support! :3 I'm curious to see what you mean by that, so I'll see to it sooner or later.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 21, 2021

To:Hollow

Thanks for reading :3 My reading list is currently quite protracted, but I'll be sure to get to it eventually.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 20, 2021

To:Shellback

Thank you for reading! I'm always worried about how far his narcissism would grate on readers, so it makes me really happy when someone tells me they're enjoying themselves.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:2

Jul 19, 2021

That paragraph about the bat is a bit too intimate. It's like, for some reason, I feel such a deep connection for a piece of wood. I can even say I almost stopped caring about Ferrari, or his comatose sister or this flashy girl. Ferrari's bat is best girl. From now on, this is my destined ship. No matter what development you give Ferrari and this girl, I will continue fighting for FerrariXBat.

Anyway, this chapter feels shorter than the previous two. Maybe it actually is. I feel like less things happen here, other than the meeting with this girl character person. First impressions, besides the gorgeous descriptions you sprinkled all over her, I can't quite get a good feel for her personality. Feels like the serious foil to the idealistic hero. She doesn't exactly resonate with me as a person as of now. That can change.

I Failed As a Professional Baseball Player And Now Have To Fight Otherworldly Creatures With Nothing But a Baseball Bat

Chapter:3

Jul 19, 2021

I just noticed the naming pattern of your chapters. Will you have one that reads, "A Lion. A Witch. And A Wardrobe."?

I'm starting to sympathize with Mercedes even more than I ever have. He's using a flip phone in 2021. His life is in the dumps! Oh and I guess he failed the tryouts, there's that. No idea why he'd miss 20 pitches, I'm supposing the suspicious mascot is responsible for that. Still, those sections really do hurt and I really wanna give Mercedes a pat on the back.

Ahhh, I don't wanna sound rude, but given the prose you've shown us thus far, I think you could've written a better paragraph at the end there. I get that you wanna hook readers by saying things outright, but I think painting a more mysterious image of what's happening instead of who's happening would be a better closing hook. Least the real crux of the story is getting started. Time for some baseball~

I Failed As a Professional Baseball Player And Now Have To Fight Otherworldly Creatures With Nothing But a Baseball Bat

Chapter:2

Jul 19, 2021

A guy with a Subaru profile pic writes a main character who is also named after a car... What are the odds.

Anyway, your writing's extremely crisp. The way you describe things gives it a very ethereal mood that sucks you into the world, even though it's still a normal one at this point.

This chapter focuses entirely on Suba-- Toyo-- Merce-- Bentley and kicking it off with his motivations easily sucks the reader into his circumstances. I do feel like leaving the sister comatose has a weakness as it doesn't allow you to show her characterization, making her feel less like a person, more like a plot device. A short scene or prologue that somewhat describes Bentley and May's siblingship would help us connect with him more. But maybe you plan on adding that later down the line.

Baseball bats are humanity's ultimate weapon against the zombie apocalypse. So of course the man with a powerful swing but no accuracy will be humanity's greatest hope. I'm sold. Let's see where you take it.

I Failed As a Professional Baseball Player And Now Have To Fight Otherworldly Creatures With Nothing But a Baseball Bat

Chapter:1

Jul 17, 2021

To:MirageVII

It'll become clear what the almost-isekai really means by the endgame.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 17, 2021

To:Arrhythmia

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoy the concept. I personally think it's quite cheap on my part to make him a jerk so I could easily develop him as the story goes on. But I felt there was something inherent in his behaviour that ties to lots of people who really do exist. There was something that needed to be said about it.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

Jul 17, 2021

To:meech

Thanks for commenting! Going with a cocky MC felt like a dangerous move on my part. Felt like a lot of people would get irritated that they can't connect with him. I'm glad you can enjoy him despite his jerkish behaviour. I don't think I'll be having that Save The Cat moment for him, but I do know that I need to knock him down a few pegs ASAP so his ego doesn't drain on readers.

Anyone Can Write A Light Novel!

Chapter:1

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