Don't have an account?
Already a Honeyfeed member?
I’m fairly new to writing Webnovels so any kind of support you can give is greatly appreciated. I’d love it if people would give me feedback on my work and I’d be happy to return the favor.
What is an Achievement?
Aug 04, 2021
To:Little Flame
Thanks for the feedback! It’s hard to naturally work in exposition sometimes. The main problem I have is that I’d have trouble making a back and forth in dialogue. Only one of the characters really has the knowledge to give most of the exposition. The only response other characters would have is just some reaction or questions. Which I try not to include too much of because I feel that they can make it feel a bit forced. But idk I’d like to hear what you think. I’d appreciate it if you kept reading more too.
A great introduction to the story. Starting off with some action before slowing it down a bit was a good choice. The only thing that I would criticize is the dialogue. It just seems a bit basic to me especially compared to your descriptive writing. I think if you added a bit more to it your characters’ personality would be brought out a lot more.
Aug 01, 2021
You really have a talent for writing comedy. This is probably the first comedic story I’ve read that was actually funny. It’s also got its own distinct personality that really sets it apart from other novels on here. I’m excited to read more! As for a slasher - Sir Hacksalot, knight helmet, and a halberd
Jul 31, 2021
This was a good first chapter. You are great at painting a picture with your words. I think your use of poetic language goes well with this type of story. To criticize it a bit, I think that there’s a good amount of fat that you should cut away. Some sentences are too long and some descriptions just aren’t necessary. I think if you can find places to trim it down it will speed the pace up quite a bit.
Jul 28, 2021
I love your style it has the sort of fast pace that fits perfectly with makoto’s over analyzing. I look forward to reading more.
To:Arashi Sensei
Thanks I’m trying to make something a bit slower pace than most web novels but I hope it’s not too slow
