Sep 08, 2021
I like the premise of the story, it seems interesting enough to engage a regular reader.
Aside from that, the punctuation and pacing, as well as the wording on certain parts of the story is kinda off, so maybe it would be a good idea to give a second thought to those things.
Also, as Sharpedon said before me, the 16 years old gap felt a bit awkward, personally, I would've ended the first chapter on the moment when Masha and John accepted Billy as their son, then going into the second chapter a brief summary of what happened over the years, to go into the proper time-skip.
Overall, I can't deny that I enjoyed it, so I hope to see you improving on those things, especially with this chapter being fairly better than the previous one.
