Oct 04, 2021
Well I finally had time to read through the entire story and I would say overall, it was quite enjoyable.
From the start, the story had an engaging hook and every subsequent chapter was intriguing enough for me to want to continue reading the next one. I don't believe that you ever named a specific country, although I would guess it is set in Japan with the abundance of arcades, delinquents, and the names.
Speaking of, the motivations of the protagonist remains consistent throughout the story and it is nice to see a clear distinction between his want and need at the end. I also wonder if it was intentional that some of the characters had parallels to the Shakespeare play (I guess I would equate Endo to Tybalt, Meru to Mercutio, and Franz to Paris). In terms of the cast, I do enjoy the central crew of Romeo, Jojo, Meru, and Tama and their interactions. Romeo's interactions with Yuri were also nicely written and felt somewhat realistic for two people who knew nothing about each other; and yet wanted to know more.
The fight scenes were also serviceable. We as the readers get to 'see' Romeo be the badass as he is described through these fights and it also helps build the type of world the story is set in. The fights never felt like they dragged on for the sake of length, nor were they too short where they felt like they didn't matter. However from the fights I think it would be a good segway to lead into the things I did not like or would criticize.
In no particular order I would list the negatives to me.
>While the concept of the story was very intriguing, there was also many elements that were predictable (some if you read R&J before). The Jojo/Tama arc was predictable right from Romeo and Jojo's fight. Meru being a double agent was a bit more hidden, but not hard to guess with how shady he was. Amon being the big bad was less predictable and more, odd? Underwhelming?
>In addition, some of the side characters were either underdeveloped or felt out of place. For instance, Cooking Pot and Pan felt like a miniboss that had no impact on the rest of the plot. Nana probably could have been more than just "Yuri's friend". And as much as I like Tama, he felt like a main character that was introduced way too late. Kagiya and Romeo's relationship could have been expanded more, although I think it was quite good as it was. Even Endo lost a lot of relevance after CH1, I would have thought he would play a role in the rescue. Matsuri and Meru had history, but it was never mentioned again and speaking of, Meru just felt out of place espeically near the end when he becomes a literal tool for Amon. Speaking of Amon....
>Amon. He really did not feel like a character with his own motivations, rather feeling more like a one-dimensional "evil guy". As his whole setup was "super powerful gang boss who was evil for the sake of being evil." Not to say characters being evil for the sake of it can't work, but he really did not have much going for him. I can understand the reasons you would make him the big bad as he certainly fits the bill, but I feel like he was very underdeveloped. Especially his end, which leads me to...
>Deaths and kills, which I think I counted like ... 3? The only one that's somewhat confirmed was Amon, besides that I think Meru shanked two guys when he was younger (no indication they died) cause there was little indication he killed Matsuri's guys. I'm assuming the deaths were kept to a minimum because of the "all ages" audience restriction, which is totally understandable. I say this as most of the fights (especially the ones that involve Romeo's bat) would definitely result in some casualties. Romeo's bloody (heh) bat was full metal, covered in nails, and could break concrete. I don't think a lot of people are surviving that. Although another problem I have is now Amon was dealt with. Instead of receiving his end from Romeo, he was crushed by a rock. While I could see it as keeping Romeo's hands clean, it also takes away from the fight as the big bad was crushed to death by a random rock. I think it would have created a nice dilemma for Romeo to have more of a conflict to kill someone to save someone, especially as his point to move on from his old life.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I figured I write all my thoughts at once after binging the story. Overall I still greatly enjoyed the story, the cover art and the synopsis pulled me in and the excellent buildup kept me reading. While I'm not sure about ending it on a cliffhanger like that, it's not something I'm adamantly for or against.
Also congrats on making it into the semi-finals, I'll be rooting for your success this round.
