Feed of the Honeybees

"You've gotta be freaking kidding me." Keiko Asagiri in her burgundy outfit displayed an annoyed—but cute—expression. One eye looked like it was twitching, while the other focused on glass doors far ahead of her.

"Huh? Don't like the surprise?" Really wish she would've worn those cat ears though! But she won't wear them in public!

I myself was donned in casual clothes: a light-brown flannel, black pants, and white undershirt. It was an old style I felt comfortable with, though I was less comfortable with the idea of coworkers catching me with a fake girlfriend. Hamatsuri wasn't the largest city ever so anything could be possible.

Asagiri's finger launched out and pointed at my local cinema's entrance. "Movies? How hard did your only two brain cells grind for this?"

"W-What do you mean?" I tried shrinking from curious onlookers around us. One dude in sunglasses literally munched from a popcorn bucket as he watched.

"Listen!" Now she pointed towards me. "Movie theaters are the most generic place possible for dates! Lame!"

"But what's wrong with movies?"

"Eh, nothing really." She calmed down and slid both hands into her jacket pockets. "Just kinda hoped you'd subvert my expectations or something."

"I could've taken you to that love hotel instead."

"You've fucked me enough by bringing me here. Buy me snacks and I'll forgive you."

"But movie theater food prices . . . " I felt my wallet trembling, or maybe it was my sanity.

"Oh, new idea! If you're broke, why not sell a kidney or something?"

Augghh. "Fine, whatever, you win. Just don't go too crazy in there."

She flashed her white teeth in a smile and then scampered towards the theater. "Come on then!"

Geez. She's probably looking forward to food more than anything else. I gave several onlookers an awkward nod to convey the end of our skit.

As I ventured into the lobby, entourages of movie goers passed me by in the packed rotunda. Promo posters were dotted along every wall while aromas of popcorn and fresh-grilled sausages soared everywhere. Meanwhile, a dome ceiling high above echoed the jingles of arcade machines right below. Crowds filtered through as they all segregated themselves into concession stands or ticket lines.

Asagiri ahead waved from rows of terminal kiosks. "Over here, Nishikata!" She yelled over everyone.

Kinda feels like I'm touring around a little sister more than a girlfriend . . . I walked by several couples. Their kissing and hugging and giggling were catalysts for jealousy brewing inside me. Well, they could be fake couples too. Please be fake.

The red of Asagiri's jacket was easy to spot. "You picked out a movie yet?" I asked her from behind.

"Don’t really care about any of these; you pick one." She moved aside for me.

"Oh, sure." I looked down at the panel's touch screen. Multiple movie selections scrolled with my finger. "What genres are you into?"

"Lovey, lovey-dovey romance!"

"You serious?"

"No. Gimme horror."

I sighed and looked down again. "Well, there is one hype anime horror out now."

"What's it called?"

"Feed of the Honeybees 2," I said with a bored face. "Saw the first before but it was just whatever."

Asagiri came up close to me and poked the listing for details. "Oh yeah! My friend fangirled for this! Might as well see if she was onto something."

"Do you know what it's about? Since you haven't seen the first."

"Nope! Not a clue!"

Makes sense. "Hmmm . . ." I grasped my chin to think. "Story goes like: one day tons of humanoid, anime girl bees swooped down to Earth and tried enslaving everyone. But three bee girls defected and fought back alongside humans."

"Sounds like furry porn."

"It's not furry! Just lemme finish: the leader of that bee trio was named Bubbly, and she was like the charismatic, intellectual member—probably the prettiest bee girl too."

"Can't be weirder than crushing on ship girls at least."

"Heh." This chick knows me too well already. "Next bee girl was Cevenz, who's kinda the trio's anti-villain. She constantly craved human flesh, so Bubbly was always sort of restraining her."

A group of passing guys looked in our direction. As Asagiri bent forward to inspect the touchscreen again, the guys clearly checked out her ass in tight shorts. Right afterwards, a shit-eating grin spread across my face as they gave me clear looks of jealousy. 

"Huh? What is it?" She turned around.

"Nothing, haha." I calmed myself. "Anyway, the last member was Volfie, a really wholesome bee girl who liked writing stories and could play guitar. All three girls were super strong and by the end of the first movie, they slayed Queen Bee—or something."

"If they killed her, how do we get a part two?"

"Queen Bee kinda resurrected in the after-credits."

"Howdy-do, a forced sequel. Sign me the F up." Asagiri rolled her blue eyes.

Well that was easy. I tapped on the Japanese-dubbed listing for two tickets. More prompts popped up. “There's a showing in twenty minutes so we'll nab that one. You care about seats?"

"Whichever ones have a brick wall between us, pick those."

"Ehhh?"

She latched onto my arm and beamed a flirty smile. "Kidding. Wouldn't be much of a date if I didn't play hard to get." 

"I-I'll just choose two in the back then." As I picked seats, several options for prices appeared on the screen. "Don’t suppose you still count for a student discount?"

"Only if you count for the senior option."

"Yeah, no. Adults it is."

After declining a membership option, I slipped out my credit card to pay for us. As two tickets popped out, I handed her one along with a ¥5,000 bill. "Here. Buy whatever from the concession stand and give me change. I'll meet you in the room after I go pee."

Cash symbols practically flickered in her eyes. Handing her money felt like giving money to a druggie, but I'd resigned myself to my fate. 

"You liked the food I made the other day, right?" she said. "Maybe I'll get us something based on that."

"Anything works, just don't spend too much."

Her devious eyes gazed towards a distant giftshop. "Maybe unlike you, I'll actually subvert your expectations."

"Please don't."

"Finders keepers." Asagiri gave a quick thumbs up as she scampered away.

"Concession stand isn't that way!" I yelled.

"Oh, my bad!" Her knuckles cutely bonked her head. "Total airhead, right?"

"R-Right." Maybe a gambling addiction would be less expensive at this rate. . . But no matter how I looked at it, trusting her with money was probably a huge mistake!

*

In the dim room, a towering screen ahead of me had been playing commercials on loop. I looked around again to see an almost deserted theater, with only a couple far off in the front row chatting amongst themselves.

My red seat made a stretching noise as I got more comfortable. There was nothing to do except wait for one tardy girlfriend. Asagiri's late. Is that cause for concern? Just when scenarios started crossing my mind, a brand-new commercial began playing:

Their scene opened with the POV camera swooping down then following around a gorgeous woman. Her flowing, rose-colored hair seemed imbued with sparkles as she strolled along a city sidewalk. Men all around couldn't help but stare in her direction, especially when breezes would lift her white dress for the slightest peeks of pure, porcelain skin. 

"Wouldn't you like to experience the beauty life has to offer?" A narrator said. "The things you've been missing out on? Fleeting years of youth you'll never get back are calling for change!"

The camera shifted towards some teenager glancing down at his watch. He was standing outside a boutique while tapping his feet, as if waiting for someone. Then, the earlier pink-haired girl cutely snuck up behind and latched onto him. Rosy, glittering eyes combined with huge breasts pressing into him sent the boy into visible delight. 

"Are you ready for our date?" She smiled an angelic expression. "Where are you taking me?"

"Oh, uh, h-how about the movies?" he stammered, very much enamored. 

"Anywhere is fine as long as I'm with you, darling."

The two trekked onwards—linked in hands—as jealous onlookers coped and seethed.

"Live out your life, don’t even consider the alternative,” the narrator said. “Apply today for a Government-Issued Girlfriend! Enjoy the company of thoughtful, caring girls eager to help you through your darkest times! Experience what it’s like to have a real girlfriend! Certain restrictions apply.”

The commercial proceeded to describe contact details and sponsors, before switching back to movie trailers.

'Certain restrictions apply' is an understatement . . . Similar ads were what nudged me into applying for their program. My sister, Chidori, first got me curious about it, but she was tight-lipped about the girls' lifestyles. Even with all the perks they got, why go along with moving in with complete strangers? Couldn’t they date living apart? Not only would it be safer, but it'd be cheaper for potential applicants too.

Abnormalities always made me suspect there were underlying motives besides just addressing declining birth rates. Too many things were happening lately: conflicting narratives, arising factions, opposing worldviews—most of all though, the DeLightful cult was spreading fast, and their honeyed words almost had even me fooled.

Stumbling footsteps to my left snapped me out of my trance. 

"Hey Nishikata, mind giving a hand?" Asagiri said. She'd shimmied her way through the seat aisle to me. A large tray in her hands was loaded with snacks and drinks, almost tipping over.

"Geez, did you buy their entire stock?" I said as I helped her.

"Blame yourself for trusting me with money."

"Point taken. Where's my change anyway?"

"Change?" She took the tray and sat on my left. "Oh, everything else went towards this little girl."

Her back shifted towards me, revealing a chibi, plushie backpack. It was modeled after Bubbly—lead heroine from Feed of the Honeybees—in her school uniform. Every bee girl looked like an anime girl, apart from insect antennas and cute bee wings.

"Nice, thanks. Furbolt could use a new chew toy," I teased Asagiri.

"No! I wub' my Bubbly . . ."

"And I loved my money but look what happened."

"Yeah, I upgraded it to something better—you're welcome."

Money sink just doing her job. "Whatever. Didn't know you liked bee girls enough to buy their merch though."

"Not really, but their plushies are totes cute." Asagiri reached behind to pet Bubbly. "Anything else and I gotta wonder how sane you otakus are."

"Elucidate?"

"Okay well first, your guys' obsession was with cat girls, then ship girls—buncha other weird stuff too." She took a quick sip of soda. "And now we've finally hit bee girls! Are you people honestly that horny?"

"Put it this way: how long have angels had wings for then?" I retorted. "Romanticizing exotic characteristics onto fictional women isn't exactly new."

"Sorry, I don't talk nerd."

"Read some more and you'll be a nerd too."

"Wow." Her face went uninterested. "Still not shocked you needed a government-issued girlfriend."

"I need lots of things to be honest." A LOT

Asagiri started sorting snacks on the tray. A red popcorn bucket was snugged in its slot while other junk food was arranged into rows. One lone, savory-looking hot dog that'd been topped with condiments caught my eye.

Sure would've been nice if she got an extra for me . . .

Her hands reached down with a napkin and grabbed the hot dog. With a clean snap, she split it in two and offered me half.

"Here," she gingerly said. "I remembered how much you liked those octopus sausages I made. This is probably even better."

Under dim light, Asagiri radiated newfound, wholesome energy that dwindled her usual radioactivity. A bashful smile on her face almost made me forget about the peace offering.

"Well? You want it or not?" she snapped.

"Oh, y-yeah!" I reached for the meal I paid for, but it felt like a gift from Heaven. God is good.

Our theater room darkened and commercials ceased. Intro credits rolled ahead of us as Asagiri took a sloppy bite of her hot dog.

"Mofie's startin'," she said while chewing.

But I couldn't sit still. Her earlier, feminine wiles had tantalized me to a dangerous degree. As soon as her right hand freed up, my own trembling hand sneaked towards hers resting on our armrest. Darkness made judging distance difficult, but as I hovered over her, Asagiri's hand flipped and clamped mine in the air. Soon, gentle fingers were sliding between my own.

"H-Huh?" I stammered.

"Don't be such a virgin," she said with hints of embarrassment. "I'm just paying you back for Bubbly."

Asagiri's fingers finished interweaving into mine as we fully linked like a couple, left and right hand together. My pounding heart felt primed to burst out from my chest, but then: a calm.

In that dark room, the surrealness of holding someone dawned on me—someone that'd saved me—a hand full of genuine affection and care. For almost a decade I'd felt nothing but voids inside me since that fateful day on the bridge. But now, I think I was ready to move on from my painful past.

Our hands continued fiddling and playing with each other on the armrests, eager to explore one another.

Not a single word was exchanged between us during the entire movie.