The DeLightfuls

"Well that was stupid," Asagiri said as the theater room's lights brightened. She busily sucked her soda cup dry, making sure to sound extra obnoxious.

“Stupid? Why?" I stretched myself out on the red chair. Over an hour of sitting still had fatigued me. "Movie wasn't bad at all."

“Too much fanservice," she replied. "They should’ve just gone with a bee girl isekai.”

"That's how you get even more fanservice."

“Dominion’s Paradise didn’t have any in its first few chapters.”

My eyes lit up like a giddy child's. “Oh, you actually read ahead!”

“Yeah, I’ll tell you what I think so far later.” She wiped her hand on her shorts. “Also, you got sweaty while we were holding hands again.”

“Sorry, haha."

A cute blush spread across her face. "It's fine. I get nervous sometimes too—maybe."

Awkward silence enveloped us both as credits continued rolling ahead. We'd earlier held hands for most of the movie, and her touch had felt like pure softness I never wanted to let go.

And I just wanted more of her.

Instinctively, like some buried carnal desire, I felt my body closing into hers from my seat. She turned towards me but didn’t move back, apparently aware of my intentions.

She’ll yell at me if she doesn’t want this, right? Any moment now?

My face neared hers. Ocean-blue eyes and succulent lips invited me further in as Asagiri's sweet, labored breaths hastened my heart. The aphrodisiac of her flustered face tossed away all my self-restraint, and I reached the point of no return.

Two centimeters. One centimeter—

"N-N-NO! Back off!"

Her hands shot out and shoved me away before we kissed. Jitters in Asagiri's voice expressed unease as she shrank bank into her seat and turned away from me, as if mad.

Guess I went a little too far. "Sorry about that. But you could’ve stopped me earlier." I rubbed my head to look modest.

Her pouty face finally looked in my direction. "I-I just wanted to give a little practice! For when you get a real girlfriend! Yeah! That!"

"Really?" I chuckled. "Well, you'd be surprised how many good stories start with a 'practice' plot."

"Shut up! Kill Switch! Kill Switch!" She reached down her shirt.

"Alright, alright. Let's just pretend it never happened."

"Humph! You better!"

After we cooled off, I checked my phone: no new messages, as usual. Well, the only person who'd probably text me at this point is sitting right next to me.

I looked towards Asagiri. "So, do you wanna pick where we head next?"

She was shoveling the last bits of popcorn into her mouth. "Hnng? Day 'snot ovur yet?"

"Only if you want it to be." I could barely understand her garbled words, but they were quite arousing.

A huge swallow went down her throat and she unleashed a satisfied burp. "Hmmm . . . How about something new; something not involving bees."

"There's a bee plushie wrapped around your back."

"Yeah well, Bubbly isn't gonna try to fuck me, unlike some people."

"Come on, it would've just been a kiss. You've had a boyfriend before, right?"

Asagiri reached into the popcorn bucket and flicked a kernel right at my forehead. 

"Ow! Hey! Not cool!" I soothed the impact crater with my thumb. 

"We only 'practice' when I say so from now on." Another kernel got threateningly loaded between her fingers. "Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am . . ."

With a pout, she stood and slammed her tray full of trash between my armrests. "Now I need to use the bathroom. Nishikata, be a good 'boyfriend' and take care of our mess, would you?"

I regret things. "Yeah fine, I'll meet you outside then."

She shimmied down our aisle and ran along the left stairs, disappearing from sight into a corridor below.

"Mission failed." I leaned back in my seat. "Hmmm, should I even bother next time?"

Credits on the screen ceased playing, soon replaced with a common courtesy video on loop. Chibi animal mascots joined forces to help make sure their theater room was left spotless after a packed, rowdy showing. Even the big-headed lion shared a laugh with hyenas as they helped each other pick up trash.

Just like those beasts on screen, I began pooling all the garbage so it wouldn't fall off my tray. Asagiri was way messier than me somehow!

As the courtesy video ended and I finished cleaning, I noticed that earlier couple down in the front row still sitting in silence, motionless—more placid than mannequins. They weren't on their phones or resting, but sitting upright and watching the now blank screen.

Well that's creepy. Wonder why they’re still here though?

I grabbed my trash-filled tray and started shimmying down the seat aisle. At that same moment, the couple synchronized to stand with me, but they kept facing forward and hiding their faces. Only their now interlocked hands showed any hint of humanity.

"Huh?" I murmured. Goosebumps surfaced on my arms. The dead quiet room echoed even minute movements of trash on my tray. Soon, I reached and descended side stairs, but the couple far below was already walking up towards me, step by slow step—approaching. 

No way. Why now of all times? My heartbeat hastened. I wasn't ready to deal with this—to deal with them. I hurried my pace, jogging down the theater steps as trash careened off my tray from panic. Only escape mattered now. 

The couple was already on the center level, waiting by our corridor exit. They continued holdings hands as their cold, uncaring glares stared up at me from below. 

Escape. No. That wouldn’t help. I could use the opposite exit, but then their dogmas would just follow me home. Confrontation was the only viable path forward to fully alleviate myself from their asinine ideology.

I cleared the final step down, careful to avoid making eye contact with anyone. As I tried turning the corner, the maroon-haired girl broke away from her boyfriend and got in my face.

“Hey, hey,” she said with a twisted smile. “That woman you were with—she’s not your real girlfriend, is she?”

Buzz off! I resisted hurling my trash tray at her face. Just go away!

"Hey, didn't you hear me? Hey." Her golden but piercing eyes tried peering straight into me, reading what they could with a glance. But what did she already know? Had both lovers been overhearing me and Asagiri this whole time?

The girl's elegant summer dress in sandals fashion—things that wouldn't raise an eyebrow ten years ago—were now a mark of the beast. Glorified wolf in sheep's clothing. An aesthetic of anarchy.

“It's all none of your business,” I calmly replied, avoiding her gaze.

Then her smile widened. She opened her pink parasol and sheltered us both underneath. “Asagiri's one of those GiG’s, right? Right?"

My eyes deadlocked onto hers. "Don't bring her into this."

Chuckles turned cackles soon filled the air as both boyfriend and girlfriend laughed.

"Well now," she whispered near my ear, "this is just conjecture, but maybe your partner is hiding something from you."

"Cut the crap!" I yelled and shoved her parasol away. "Stay out of our lives!"

Without hesitation, she hooked the open parasol back around me then blocked off my escape.

"Asagiri is only a fake girlfriend, right? Right?" She grinned even wider. "That means all your needs can't be satisfied. Why not ditch her and come join our seminars? If you open yourself to death, surely someone could humor your libido.”

“I’ve moved on from your cult ideals already.”

"Heh. Unfortunately, death isn’t something you ‘move on’ from, only eventually accept. Do not hide from its light."

Those decrepit words, that twisted ideology—were the same axioms that'd been haunting me for almost a decade. The suicidal thoughts, feelings of inferiority, and sporadic PTSD all stemmed back from a chance encounter with their cult's co-founder. Even now, I was still living under her shadow and suffering the consequences of her contributions to society's downfall.

In that dead silent theater room, all I could do was remain quiet, and hope no one noticed my trembling. Please, just leave!

Then, someone's footsteps approached. The blonde-haired boyfriend, clad in church-appropriate clothes, circled around his girlfriend and nudged her parasol away. He now stood right in front of me.

"Dearest friend, GiGs only seek to deceive." He craned his neck down to meet my eyes. “They preach a glorified, sweet lie over a sweeter truth. Don't let yourself be swayed by their saccharine words. Death is this world's only truth."

My quaking hands held the tray clenched, ready to weaponize it. "You're all crazy! If death is so beautiful, why don't you all kill yourselves and stop convincing people to do the same?"

The resounding echo bounced from wall to wall. All three of us were staring each other down, waiting for someone to make another move. I stood firm, but the girlfriend seized the moment to waltz around me. Hovering lips and calm breaths were now near enough to tickle my neck.

"We don't ask anyone to hurt themselves though," she said. "There's a calm before every beautiful storm. Peace, tranquility, and ataraxia—people choose their own fates. We simply guide to one that best suits them."

Images of Asagiri flashed in my mind. She'd already saved me from these people—from their bullshit drenched in snake oil. I arrived at my own philosophies, but DeLightfuls helped fuel the fire that convinced me to buy those sleeping pills. Years of living with self-doubt concerning things I'd wrought had been toiling away at me.

"You don't even know your own founders that well," I chuckled. "Speaking on behalf of others shouldn't be your prerogative."

"But therein lies your qualm," the boyfriend said. "Those most in need of a GiG are the most vulnerable. Even if yours succeeds in rectifying your mental state, who's to say you won't regress as soon as she departs?"

Huh? I'd never even considered that: what happens when Asagiri would eventually leave me? Wouldn't things be worse off than before? No, no. I pushed those thoughts away. I wouldn't let myself be led astray by nonsense again. My life was almost taken once, and I'd be damned if this new resolve to live shattered.

But I'd let my guard down and the girl strolled by me again, grazing my chin with a finger. The hypnotic gleam in her eyes was as seductive as it was terrifying.

"When you sink back into darkness," she said, "DeLightfuls will always welcome you with open arms; just come find us." She giggled and skipped down the room's corridor exit.

Then the boyfriend followed behind his partner, looking back over his shoulder for some final words.

"Even if you reject us, who's to say your family, or perhaps your friends, won't one day see our light? Don't get left behind, Nishikata."

After the girlfriend folded in her parasol, both lovers turned the corridor corner and disappeared from sight. Gone, like ghosts.

. . .