Aug 08, 2023

To:minatika

Haha, whatever name you prefer for me 🤭👍
And yes, it definitely is predictable in a very good way (so it't still not obvious what will happen, but that something will happen).
I think the story structure you are describing fits the Japanese Kishotenketsu structure pretty nicely 😉 It's actually quite compatible with the Hero's Journey, if you use the midpoint to shift gears drastically.

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Aug 07, 2023

To:Deleted User

If even other people start urging you to make a move 😅😂
I hope you're on board of this ship as well! 😊😜

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Aug 06, 2023

To:Katsuhito

Fast Romance indeed. And if you think this progression was fast, you'll learn to experience speed much differently after the next chapter 😂 (At least I hope so ... truth be told, I haven't written a single word for it ... 😅)
And I'm holding you back, buddy! Come on, stop this! Your madness has to end! We need a resolution! Sooon! 😂
A more or less classical Kokuhaku, exactly! They established their intentions and are now officially dating each other. We'll see where this will lead them! 😶‍🌫️🤭

And yes, it was actually planned right from the beginning that Kukai would be homosexual. But to make the thought process behind this maybe even more clear: She mainly wanted him to know so he could better "concentrate" on the real deal ... because maybe she had a little masterplan behind her back that Akimi herself didn't know about 🤭 But in the end it wasn't even necessary and things turned out the way they did despite all this. (I know a lot of happening below the surface here, but I won't finish this story in the short time frame if I don't condense it into several layers of subtext 😅)

And yes, Toyoshima had a life of experiences and a wagon load of blunt grumpiness to point his protégé into the right direction 😜

Glad you like it and thanks so much for reading! 😊❤️❤️❤️

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Aug 06, 2023

Exactly! Just because she is doing some things with ulterior motives doesn't mean she does everything with ulterior motives! I see that Ichika definitely has some potential for becoming a doctor (not a surgeon, though ... scalpels probably count as knifes and I wouldn't let her near any human body with a knife 😅) ... or maybe a nurse! 😱
I mean she even noticed that his injury wasn't as bad. So either way she already knows things about this or she just sneaked in the hospital, where Haruhi was being treated 🤔 (I think she'd be capable for both things, actually 😅)

And that ending ... Haruhi was being very careless there (leaving "literature" like that lying in the open and leaving the room makes "careless" a very mild expression) and now he received punishment for his misconductions. Why do you think the 6 letter numbers were invented, my friend, huh? 😂
I'm curious how Ichika will react to this. 🕵️‍♂️ I mean I don't know how explicit it was, but seemingly explicit enough to lead her to picking it up. Maybe she goes full girlfriend mode and scolds him how he could own something like that ... or she has a collection her own and they begin exchanging their ... uhm ... literature recommendations? I mean if it's vanilla stuff they could even try ... ahehem ... I mean we want to stay stay sex-positive while remaining G-rated, don't we? 😂
Considering the last situations, I'd assume that Haruhi somehow manages to weasel out of this situation 😂 We'll see 😶‍🌫️

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Aug 06, 2023

Who was that girl? 🧐
From what she said and her sudden vanishing I would suggest she has something to do with Claire ... and Claire hadn't (yet?) told Jun about something? 🤔
If she can vanish at will is she maybe another world breaker as well? Someone who wants to stop Claire's meddling and is responsible that Jun met Toren so early on? Suspicious ... it still remains interesting 🤔

And it really happens! The selfcare-part of Jun's development is just about the corner! Now I think we are about to discover if he really wanted Mia/Amamiya in the first place or if she just so happens to set his mind too much on an idea that can't ultimately make him happy. But I really like how Claire just completely resigned on taming his chaotic nature and just accepted to go with the flow 😂
Even though not everything on the surface, I believe a lot happend in this chapter! Thanks for writing! 😊❤️

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Aug 05, 2023

To:minatika

I think calling THAT a date would be a bit far-fetched. I mean ... like ... they are ... uhm ... I-it's not an official one at least 🫣

And I know what you mean. For me there were some people who even went as far as to read my stories (most didn't as well), but even if they did the feedback was mostly just a "Yeah, it's really great!" - which is nothing I'd want to nag about ... but whenever asking in more detail what they thought could be improved, they always said it was perfect and nothing needed to be changed. I somehow felt that they liked it, but were still far away from enjoying it the same like "real" novels.
And maybe that's just my view as an artist, but I think that every work has something that can be improved about it - even if that's just a personal opinion and nothing that'd be considered flawed by standards of good writing. It's like whatever you do, people say they like it, but in the end some of the buzz slowly dies down, because it didn't have the impact you intended it to have. Sometimes I wonder if there would ever be someone else loving a work more than it's author ...
But maybe you're glad (or scared 😅) to hear that I usually spam the last comment section of the novels I read (sometimes I even had to split the comment up since it exceeded the 10k character limit 😅). So I hope I can at least give you some feedback on your writing! I think that is a great key to improving - like without you, my characters would still chat in classic standard English 😉 (Thank you so much for that!)

I get what you mean with your take on perfect works (or rather ones that aim to get close to it). And yes, it's exactly like that! The arthouse movies he loves so much for example are so great because they have visionary writers that know how to package their intentions into a story that feels very much real, but is still unique. He only saw the real part and was too self-conscious to create something that involved deeply with his own interests and feelings. But that'll hopefully be resolved very soon with her help 😶‍🌫️
Thanks for reading and your long comments! I really appreciate those 😊❤️

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Aug 05, 2023

To:Koyomi

I think you might have a good point with that ... Like "No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle" (at least about this topic) 😉
And not so loud! You might change his mind! 🤭
Thanks for reading! 😊❤️

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Aug 05, 2023

To:Katsuhito

Yes, she definitely has put a lot more thought into this than she let's through. But I think it does not just have to do with being grounded and humble, but perhaps not wanting to be vulnerable. She certainly carries her very own amount of grief.
And yes, she learned it from her granddad and is going to keep the legacy alive ... maybe even teaching other people like Takurou about what she knows 😊
Thanks for reading and commenting! 😊❤️

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Aug 04, 2023

To:Deleted User

Exactly! And I'm sure, her granddad is still very proud watching over how his old camera is still put to good use and what kinds of artworks are made with it ... making people like Takurou happy to look at them! 😊 He definitely taught Akimi to make good use of these skills!

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Aug 04, 2023

Oh ... so it was a more or less (rather more) disturbing message Ichika left for to write with her own blood 😂 I guess these guys think twice before they foul someone next time 😅
And Ichika seems to be really in for improving her cooking skills! It's probably still a long way, but since it is even edible now, that was a really huge improvement for her already! And her scarred fingers are now just a testament to how much time she invests into this!
And Kotone totally figured her (and Haruhi of course) out. I think she actually WAS right to some degree, when she identified Ichika as Haruhi's girlfriend 🧐😂 If she's this smart, she probably already knows that there is more going on between them 😶‍🌫️

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Aug 04, 2023

YES! Toren can't withstand Jun as well!!! 😂😂
A true bromance taken even further! Go guys, you're meant for each other! 😊

But honestly this was sooo cute! Jun is really caring a lot about Claire and it's just really great she is having fun as well. She is not alone and lonely watching from afar, but actually participating and painting the skies with beautiful firewor... I mean firebolts 🎆
I assume that now we have reached our turning point. Even though this chapter we've been the happiest and Jun seems to have reached his goal ... when Claire probably disappears throughout the next chapter, he will need to decide what ... or rather who he actually wants. And I'm all in for this! 😊

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Aug 03, 2023

I don’t think Ryota did that much wrong. I guess he just wasn’t ready for the next step yet. And Mai probably noticed she had gotten greedy while waiting all this time. I think he needs a bit more time to get acquainted and then, they will go the rest of the way! 😁
After all she gave him Honmei Choco … 😁
So I count this as a success!

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Aug 03, 2023

To:minatika

I think he wasn’t as struck on Rakuko as he thought himself … which is actually great, that you experienced it this way! It’s probably more an impulse he has yet to understand … and probably very soon will. 😁

Haha, really? I had such a Phase as well. I especially remember discussing with my dad that live action movie are still okay, but the really great ones were are all animated without and that meant animated ones were way superior 😂
Yeah … fuzzy memories 😅

Haha, you’ve compiled a few great ones there … I actually consider adding the last one with „the next thing …“ 😂 That would just be funny … and Jojo probably counts as a classic … even though the source material was not a movie, but there are many adaptions from books as well. Maybe I have to sleep a night about this 😂
Nonetheless thaks for your ideas! 😊👍

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Aug 03, 2023

To:minatika

I wouldn’t be so sure if it was accidental …also, why Ashiya changed topics so quickly afterwards … 🤭

It’s really funny you say that, when conceiving this chapter, I actually considered otōsan laying his hand on Takurō‘s shoulder and turning into a half-demon … but somehow this didn’t work out. This way it also shows that he’s a smart guy and figured out that this is the guy his daughter talked about a few days ago. But I assume that not only your father would’ve done what you said 😂

Haha, I should’ve added a Jojo reference in the quotes 🤔😂
The blue light is an infamous oneliner from Rambo 3, the roads one is from Back to the Future (at the end of part 1, I believe), the home one you figured out correctly was from the original Wizard of Oz and the last one with Tears in the rain was from Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner from 1982 and is even so famous that it has it‘s own Wikipedia page named „Tears in rain monologue“. 😊 So they are all movies from before the 2000s! I think it’s no shame if you don’t know all of them 😉

Yes … maybe she has already found her light but doesn’t even know it. After all she is a much different personality than Kukai. And I bet the same goes for you, in finding the spotlight pointed just at you! 😉

Thanks for reading and always commenting so much! 😊❤️

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Aug 03, 2023

To:Katsuhito

I figured the escort comment was a joke. It’s just more funny to take it seriously 😂
This little devil just tries to ruin her brother‘s reputation. I like her 😂
And you’re welcome! 😁👍

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