IceDonut

IceDonut

25 | him/his | European

Writing since 2016 to find the fine line between the bittersweet beauty of sorrow and the feeling of deep human connection, creating worlds that provide shelter from reality, but also embrace its way of being.
I occasionally write comments/critiques that could be short stories on their own, so sorry for all the flooded comment sections 😅
Read into my current novel "Celluloid", if you are interested!

registered at: Sep 08, 2021
MyAnimeList iconMyAnimeList icon
Roles
  • Author
  • Artist
  • Badge

    badge-bronze

    bronze
    Achievement
    Thumbs up Level 5
    Comments Level 6
    Bookmark Level 1
    Published Novel Level 1
    Published Chapter Level 4
    Artist(Submit fan art) Level 1
    Novel Cover Upload Level 3
    Time(Daily access) Level 6
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023

    Nov 28, 2023

    I guess we all know which school Eiji's master had been visiting there 😏
    So since in the epilogue of 66 Hours, Hideki and friends met Eiji and Naomi (after the events of the haunted school and therefore after this evening), which means that he'll be fine again in no time! So no worries Naomi! You don't have to wait to the next volume to find out what happens to him 😉

    So, I have to say right away that for what it is, from a craftsmanship perspective this is your best story so far! Every of your stories had something special about them, but this is what comes closest to an actual mystery shounen manga/story.
    At least from the way your world is described it feels quite similar to Jujutsu Kaisen. I guess this might be the only point of critique I can add here. I mean you did create a world on your own, but the presence of creatures not everyone can see and people banishing them probably has been depicted in a few other works, but at least this is the most recent example that comes to my mind. I think I already said it in 66 hours, but at least for my taste the world therefore does not feel entirely original.
    And this is fine. The story and characters are still unique on their own. I really like the way the unstoppable bouncyball force Naomi always meets the immovable stern object Eiji. As characters on their own they are written just great and I enjoyed each and every interaction between them and all the other people from your cast!
    While your adaption of a shounen was very successful, you definitely achieved something quite many people these days enjoy. Nonetheless, you also adopted a few weak points. And these might be more or less exclusive to me, but I felt that a lot happened during the story, but not enough of it contributed to the overall plot progression. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing. It's not like these side arcs were boring (quite the opposite, actually). I enjoyed the small stories here and there, but if they would have been interconnected and woven into the main plot (if there even was one) that would have been the cherry on top for me. And don't get me wrong, it is a valid decision to not have a main plot in the first volume and rather focus on setting the atmosphere, introducing the characters and so on, but at least to me that made some parts feel a little filler-ish.

    And that's it from my side! Yes, nothing more I can complain about, I really liked this world and all the characters and the way the interact with each other! I hope you're not disappointed now 😜
    You did a great job! Take your time and we'll see again for the second volume! I'll be waiting curiously! Thank you for writing! 😊❤️

    icon-reaction-1
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-2
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-3
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-4
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-5
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-6
    Loading...
    1
    Soul Nemesis Official Cover
    Soul Nemesis [VOLUME I]
    Chapter:33