Sep 01, 2023
To:Lei
Oh, it's not so much that this was supposed to be Dave's point of view the entire story, and I don't mind having a chapter from Emily's perspective. It just felt out of nowhere, like...I'm not sure. I feel like it'll be more natural if you present, say, a chapter in between from her perspective, for example when she went missing because of real life affairs, and we see what that real life stuff is about. But the epilogue feels like a weird place to slot in her perspective. I feel like there are better places, that's all.
Oh, right. The three months timeskip. Maybe that's why it felt a bit abrupt to me - I was expecting to read more on what developed over the period of time, but it just felt incredibly fast and like I missed something. But I understand why you did it.