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Dracors

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A bored engineer who wanted to write a little bit as a hobby with the dream of giving up on being an engineer.

registered at: May 27, 2022

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aaa

Jul 15, 2022

Gooooooood. (reads in Palpatine's voice)

Interesting chapter. The fantasy elements are kicking in and maybe things will start to get some proper answers soon.

When My Ex-Girlfriend Came For a Visit, It Was Raining.

Chapter:5

Jul 14, 2022

Dew it... FOR SCIENCE!!!

Work, Please! ~From World's Greatest Sweeper to the Far Future's Salaryman~

Chapter:9

Jul 14, 2022

To:Deleted User

Quite harsh but true nonetheless. There's a possibility that I'm only giving a pass because I wrote Lily though...

Either way, Amy's past is very interesting, but it isn't really relevant to the plot or would make the story better if was explained, so I'll embrace my evil self and not give it straight for anyone, bwahahahaha! Good luck collecting the easter eggs.

Idolatry

Chapter:12

Jul 13, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Good. Then I just misinterpreted your comment.

Either way, now is the time for the meat of the story, so expect a thickening plot from now on.

Idolatry

Chapter:12

Jul 13, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Just to be sure that I'm not using the wrong word without knowing... A "will" is that document a person uses to say how their possessions should be shared, right?

Idolatry

Chapter:12

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Glad you had a good experience, and don't worry, this thing will be finished no matter who I have to kill to finish it!

Idolatry

Chapter:10

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Never heard of this one actually, but if she's similar to Amy, I should probably read this thing right away! I really like Amy, so I'll probably like this other story too.

By the way, you saying this part about the laws is very funny because I'm currently working on a exposition chapter that touches this point too.

Idolatry

Chapter:9

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Having her persona show little by little is an important point going forward, so I hope it goes gradually enough.

About the "all over the place" part, though, I'll need to review it as something of the like sounds very worrisome even if I'm managing to keep the bits together for now. I hope it won't just worsen from this point forward.

I'm thankful for your help and reads.

Idolatry

Chapter:7

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Hope they both amuse you as much as they amuse me. 😊

Idolatry

Chapter:8

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

My, my! Thank you very much, hearing this from someone who gave me a fair critique is a lot, you know?

It should be obvious by now, but Lilianna is a very important character to the plot, so I tried very hard to flesh her out as well as possible.

Idolatry

Chapter:6

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

It's actually a mannerism that I got from an english teacher I had that sometimes infects my characters (there's a "you know?" too that you'll probably notice eventually), but I liked it in Amy, so I let her have it after the first edit.

There's absolutely no reason to apologize for having a short comment though, I take it as a sign that the chapters are getting better actually. 😊

Idolatry

Chapter:5

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Well, she has the characteristics one needs to fit the tragic protagonist trope like starting in a good position and having a core flaw that leads to her fortune reversal and eventual fall of grace, both events that could be avoided by anyone without said core flaw.

Of course, I could be completely wrong here or simply reading too much into it because I like the tragedy structure since I'm assuming a lot and filling the gaps with a different story, but that's beyond the point.

Flower of Eden: Withered Blossoms

Chapter:2

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

I won't even try to find an excuse for the repetitiveness and will just apologize beforehand... I'm having some trouble on this front.

I went to re-read it and found that the ending is just weirdly worded, so you didn't miss anything and she only has those two custom machines for sure (this one is an easy fix, so I'll try to do it right away).

Once more, thanks for the time and glad that you seem to be enjoying it.

Idolatry

Chapter:4

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Unrelated: I noticed that I wrote "head headgear" instead of "her headgear", but I digress...

Now to the real answer, the last part of the chapter was made to puzzle a reader, but I thought I had seeded small weirdnesses enough for a few bits to start connecting, which seems to not be the case for now...

Either way, you'll have to wait a while to see Amy's facade breaking, but I guess that's enough to answer what you were wondering, right?

Idolatry

Chapter:3

Jul 12, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

I seem to need some more seeding for the connection between Amy and Lily since what I gave wasn't even enough for a theory to arise (which was the plan) while also trying to solve the fact that my descriptions are lacking.

Meanwhile, I'm happy that what should be intriguing to you is actually managing to be so, and once again, really thanks for the time.

Idolatry

Chapter:2

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