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Owen_8

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registered at: Aug 02, 2022

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aaa

Aug 16, 2023

This is my second comment here, I could see how english language literatures influence on this work. Would love some inputs https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Crystal Sky

Chapter:2

Aug 16, 2023

Your paragraphs are great! Would love some inputs on my work https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

best of luck

Crystal Sky

Chapter:0

Aug 16, 2023

you need to work on your paragraphs, make it work for you. Describe the what, show and not tell. Also I want to drop my story as well https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538
best of luck

Sakuragami Syndrome

Chapter:1

Aug 16, 2023

you need to work on your paragraphs, make it work for you. Describe the what, show and not tell. Also I want to drop my story as well https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538
best of luck

Sakuragami Syndrome

Chapter:1

Aug 16, 2023

Hey it's me, it's been a year since I wrote the human butcher. I like the emphasis on the humans and cyborg in this story, also feel free to check my new story out https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

best of luck

Pyro's Grand Demise

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

To:minatika

I couldn't agree more with your comment, feel free to read my work
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Night Time Detective

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

To:minatika

I couldn't agree more with your comment, feel free to read my work
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Night Time Detective

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

You should make your writing more concise and make your story more vague as it is a detective genre, also do follow minatika's advice for the example.
don't hit the paragraphs from the start to finish without spaces, also PI is private investigator. Read good mystery novels to get a sense on your screen play format, I'd recommend phillip marlowe stuff cos I love it. Also there are some spelling errors, feel free to hit me up.
feel free to check my work https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538
best of luck

Night Time Detective

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

I like your concise wording, background telling and how you flexed your MC. Feel free to check out mine https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Enchanted by a Witch From a Realm Called Earth

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

Congratulations on winning!

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:40

Aug 15, 2023

Love how you start your chapter, I'm doing my best to study past winners. Check mine out if you have the time, inputs are appreciated
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Our School is Perfectly Ordinary

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

Love the reference to C++, you can shorten your word choices for instance tina said with a smile -> time smiled. Feel free to check mine out
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538
Best of luck

Sister Sensei (S++)

Chapter:0

Aug 15, 2023

I like your opening paragraph, try to use comas wisely. Feel free to check out my work
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538
Best of luck

The Foreign Yakuza

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

Love the 'back story' as the mc struggle with the lost in the past
Feel free to check my story out
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

Our Greatest Comeback: Thanks to your beautiful light

Chapter:0

Aug 15, 2023

I like the suspense that you buillt, I am referring to old winners as I am participating in this current contest
Feel free to check it out
https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/12538

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:1

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