Dec 24, 2024
Okay, I told myself that I would wait until the very end of the story to write a review, but I think now could be a good time to share my thoughts so far. I guess you can say this is the Act 1 review since it's quite clear the story will shift drastically from now on, and I promise I'll keep reading it until the very end. Again, I'm just ur average web novel hobby writer and I'm writing this solely as a casual reader who is probably a really bad critique bc I'm normally too optimistic and have a monke brain lmao ANYWAYYY:
Plot:
To live up to the action genre, the pace SHOULD be fast and have plenty of intense conflicts, so props to you for checking that box! As for the psychological genre, I see nothing wrong with it either. The concept of false reality checks it out.
As for drama though... I can see the characters' relationships pretty well, but yeah... the other readers said it so I won't repeat it here. The drama genre heavily relies on the characters' internal and external conflicts, and I DO see those conflicts... on mainly Marsia... but even then her abusive parents were fake and her wish to see the world won't happen because the world is fake and sdklfjlksdlknsfdsk EVERYYHING IS A LIEEE YOU SEE WHERE IM GETTING AT 😭😭😭
BUT I totally get you wanted to set up this first act for us to see what predicament they're in. The concept of being stuck in a simulation checks out for a futuristic high-tech world and I can totally understand how incredibly challenging it is to live up to the drama genre because if everything is fake, then the characters' backstories are also fake, and now we're back to square one of not knowing who our main casts are.
I suppose if I should leave any feedback, then I suggest adding very clear, contrasting behavior that shows who their real selves are. For example, if Marsia's idol life isn't real, maybe hints like she actually has stage fright or imposter syndrome after gaining so much popularity could help. Hints that she's obviously never been an idol for long but strangely she somehow is... something like that, yknow? (this is an example I randomly came up with I have no idea who Marsia's real character is) Again, just a thought, no need to change anything if you disagree
This whole act does feel like it builds up to the plot twist about the truth of this world and trying to break free from it, but I haven't seen enough clues to grasp how or why the characters ended up this way to begin with. The characters rightfully assume that being part of the simulation is bad, but I'm still not fully sure what those agents' full pov is. They do look like they were trying to stabilize the simulation, and the only clue I got (that they wanted to make a hyperbola) leads to more questions than answers.
To summarize this in simple terms, we're midway through the story and I have no idea why everything is happening like this and I don't know what to expect at all 😭 I can guess that they'll wake up and finally start investigating the truth, and I think you intended to have all these questions linger in our minds while the story continues. This is the point where my monke brain can't write a proper feedback on this because a part of me believes this is intentional, that readers should only have questions and no answers because Act 2 will surprise us in a way we'll never expect. So, I trust you're still cooking with your mystery and I'll continue to be patient!
Speaking of clues, I do admire the secret 5 letter codes you've scattered. It worked out well until the chapter with the lowercase got me wondering if I should upgrade my glasses (I'm still struggling to find those lowercases). If there's anything I'd like to suggest, it's keeping these codes consistent so I know if it's intentional or not. (Personally, I'd like for it to be underlined, just keeping it simply bolded is hard to see and thats a skill issue on my part lmao)
I know you said these codes will be important, so I'll put my trust in you and wait til we know what they're for!
Characters:
Like I said before... I'm still not sure who our main casts are besides assuming that they could all be close irl, but even then I don't see any other clues to show what their real lives and relationships are besides assuming they're childhood besties. Or, they could be siblings judging how they both have white hair in the covers, but thats a random thought I had lol. I am sure this gets explained in the second act, so I'll continue reading to know more!
World:
the whole world is fake 😭 I have nothing else to say lmao, tho im more than certain the real worldbuilding will take place in act 2, so I'll look forward to that!!
conclusion:
fucking hell im not used to writing so long this is probably my longest comment ever dljgldkfskljflkssskl ahh forget it just know im still reading it! I hope you're not feeling too discouraged from the other critiques (yes i saw them too) but just know I at least still enjoy it and will continue to read and support it!! Keep up with the good work!! I know you'll do amazing! 
