kazesenken / Comments

kazesenken

0 Following

161 Followers

A random truck-kun appears bearing gifts of isekai!

registered at: Sep 27, 2019

Roles

Author

Artist

Badge

silver

What is Badge?

Achievement

What is an Achievement?

Report this user

Comments

aaa

Jul 13, 2021

The playful awkwardness between the two are probably what I like most about this. The story reads well, but I did notice some little things like tense changes and singular/plural verb mistakes.

I also kind of wonder why Kanro did immediately question, "Why Ex-girlfriend, and not girlfriend?" That lingered for the whole next chapter until that was explained.

When My Ex-Girlfriend Came For a Visit, It Was Raining.

Chapter:2

Jul 13, 2021

My advice to you. It's really hard to read the first couple of paragraphs. They need to be broken up and the descriptions hammering me at the beginning are drawn out.
It gets a lot better as you move on to the latter half.

My Fantasy is Just a Mirror

Chapter:1

Jul 13, 2021

To:znf

Thanks! I think part of having a good isekai is bringing what the character's whole experience is into the new world. :3

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:6

Jul 13, 2021

To:Pearlyn.M

Keep those little innuendos in mind. They aren't accidental. 😜

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:6

Jul 13, 2021

To:Deleted User

Vera so strange. Going backwards to comment 😂

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:2

Jul 12, 2021

I guess we're at the 'wake up to your new master of butt kickery' for the next chapter?

A Whisper in Scarlet

Chapter:3

Jul 12, 2021

To:Gurg

Better go grab Snazzy! He can spit fireballs!

Zero.

Chapter:9

Jul 12, 2021

Where's ma pitchfork?! We gots to go steal George back!

Zero.

Chapter:9

Jul 12, 2021

To:Pearlyn.M

She is actually younger than Snazzy in his old life. It just rolls off the tongue more, so he's totally going to roll with it. xD

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:5

Jul 11, 2021

To:Makech

That's okay for a webnovel. You will want to flesh it out if you happen to want to make it more of a LN style.

BLOODY BAT ROMEO

Chapter:2

Jul 11, 2021

I definitely find the flow and your dialogue to be the main star of this writing. That being said, it does feel like you skimp on the worldbuilding, which leaves what is going on around the characters a bit empty. If it were a manga, that would be the equivalent of having only your main characters of focus drawn, but nothing in the background. Which if it was a manga, someone could just fill in for you.

BLOODY BAT ROMEO

Chapter:2

Jul 11, 2021

I really like how personal the writing feels. It makes me connect really well with the MC. I find myself feeling for him a lot.
Still, I think you could do a little more on the disconnects. His actions still feel a little to grounded in reality, rather than the other existence that he was for 18 years. What I mean by that is that he lacks some of the subtle motions and instinctive gestures/thoughts that he would be more used to doing. Kind of like how Kirito from SAO keeps trying to clip his sword behind his back. That kind of thing. Also, there were a few paragraphs that were a bit run on. Try not to let it get too long. Tiresome on the eyes.

The Hero Who Returned Remains Traumatized in the Modern World

Chapter:2

Jul 11, 2021

Well, shit just got real.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:4

Jul 11, 2021

That means a lot to me that you think that it feels well written and like real LN. Thanks for reading! ❤️

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:4

Jul 10, 2021

I like the pacing of the action. And the little bit of mystery as to what the shiz is going on is keeping my attention. Hope we found out soon where this leads.

A Whisper in Scarlet

Chapter:2

kazesenken

Novels

Gallery

Comments

Reviews

aaa