Jun 18, 2025
To:Stief
Thank you very much, these big text chonkers are exactly the kind of feedback I like.
For the overexplaining part, it's always hard to find the right balance between too much and too little, but I agree that I should try to at least vary it slightly so it's not too redundant, like for example shifting the other character's(Dahlia's) reaction between the scenes that describe the same kind of thing, like you mentioned.
Still, my biggest takeaway is the part about the fight being too organized. I did want to make it messy and chaotic, but didn't have much of an idea about how to do it, and I was afraid adding descriptions or actions would slow the scene down.
I didn't plan to make more changes to the novel, but I think I will make an extra effort to improve the argument scene a bit just so I can at least have it as a future reference, because I'm definitely going to write more characters arguing in future stories.
