Apr 12, 2025
Kinda cheap, gotta say. The guy comes in like a walking plot device and source of exposition, and I didn't have a problem with that as long as he was at least a meaningful character. But just taking him out like this without even a proper buildup and knowing the guy sliced a giant beast with a sword...
I understand your time is limited, but the standard reader wont care if you are writing 3 simultaneous stories or 1, they will only take into account what they read here.
This cliff place could've had an aditional chapter for a more proper setup or something.
Now, lets analyze this from outside the cave to get a more interesting POV. I understand that this novel is not so much about the characters as in a traditional story. I get that your intention is not to write a typical 'introduce deep characters, give them meaningful arcs, etc,' but more of a 'this is all a play, everything revolves around the MC and the underlying truth of the world, whatever it may be'. However, even assuming I am right in this and not just making shit up, the play should at least be convincing enough so that those who are not aware it is one will remain until the end.
In conclusion, with great pain in my heart, I have to say this chapter is a disappointment, and I know you can do better than this.
(Disclaimer for the future: if Journeyman ends up surviving and coming back, be it right after this chapter or in a more distant future, it will not invalidate any of my points, but rather reinforce them as it will, once again, break the play by introducing forced plot points and false drama)
