Cashew Cocoa / Comments

Cashew Cocoa

Just a writer for fun. Been doing my private scribbles for over a decade and it was time I started writing for a public.
You can find my Discord account in the HF server if you want to chat. I'm open to feedback or just discussing my stories in general.

registered at: Mar 05, 2025

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aaa

Apr 10, 2025

Yay, family is reunited.
This is gonna be painful...
But also satisfying once the girl learns to say no, assuming she does.

Btw, I really like your idea of using special characters and symbols as scene breaks. Hope you dont mind if I use the idea in the future(obviously with a different set of characters and shapes).

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:9

Apr 09, 2025

Lolo does give solid points, some of which I did notice while reading but chose to ignore in favor of enjoy the other aspects.
However, I agree with your decision to stick to your chosen path, even more so if you already expected this type of division in readers.
I believe that even if you were to address what Lolo pointed and change part of the characters and narrative, it would come at the cost of sacrificing other positives about the story, on top of the fact that you lack the time to do those type of revisions.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:7

Apr 09, 2025

Future tense, backwards text and furries all in one chapter. Someone was feeling very bold while writting this one, though I dont dislike it.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:5

Apr 09, 2025

Had to prove me wrong right from the start, huh? Anything I said about Scarlet has lost all meaning now.
On a different matter, I love me some confused crying from a girl out of touch with her own emotions. Since you seem to be a fan as well, you're going to find a 'pleasant' surprise once you get a few chapters into my story(though I don't expect you to start anytime soon, I know you're busier than anyone).
I don't usually comment on every single chapter, but I'm enjoying this a lot and I keep finding things I want to say.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:4

Apr 09, 2025

To be honest, this is the chap I liked the least so far, mainly because I didn't resonate with Scarlet's intro. The way the girl set up expectations on her being strong/scary was so on the nose I expected the real one to at least have a twist in it.
However, even if I'm not a fan of the intro, that doesn't automatically make her a bad character since it's to soon to judge that. And she might still have a twist that breaks the initial expectations the girl set up, I'm just commenting on this chapter in a vacuum.
The rest of was still as enjoyable as ever though.
Ah, and a small thing that broke momentarily my immersion: 'presence' used twice in a sentence, referring to the very same concept. Easy to fix.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:3

Apr 09, 2025

I come late for the comments debate, so I dont know if what im reading is slightly toned down or has remained untouched.
What I will say on the matter is that I assumed that the girls vocabulary likely had a reason, like perhaps something related to her real mother or why her family hated her.
Either way, I took it as another part of what makes her so engaging, just one more element in her already bizarre reality.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:2

Apr 09, 2025

Just as I was fearing the narrarion might risk getting stale after the girls comparisons to her sis started becoming common, she comes up with the very amusing Mr Library.
And now, the actual plot, an adventure through realities/wordls looking for a chalice. If the girl can make commonday furniture interesting, I can't wait to see her take on supernatural or fantasy elements.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:2

Apr 09, 2025

I think I get one of the reasons why this is so interesting.
Its the girl's unique perspective on her whole world. Her interpretation of the most mundane of things is so fresh it makes anything she narrates engaging.
She could be staring at a wall monologuing and I would eat her take like a touching poem.

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:1

Apr 09, 2025

How on earth did you make a philisophical monologue so interesting?

Girl and the Rift

Chapter:0

Apr 08, 2025

So... I no longer know what to feel about Mitsuki. I've no idea if she is being genuine or just doing it all for the sake of amusement. I don't know if she's scheming unwholesome pranks, or some kind of elaborate plan that's trying to force our MCs out of their confort zone for their own sake in the long run(since apparently she has experience with catgirls and knows the problems that can arise and how to deal with them).
The end result is that she's more unreadable than anyone else in this story. If that's the intention with her, great job. If it isn't... then idk.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:12

Apr 08, 2025

This was one of the most amusing chapters up to this point.
I kept grinning throughout all the restaurant shenanigans.

I Prolonged the World’s Demise by Babysitting a Kaiju

Chapter:14

Apr 06, 2025

Now that's a lot of names. I don't know how relevant it will be that the Reapers live in Elakin and the guardians in Seris(and etc. etc.), but I hope that at least you don't assume later in the story that the reader will remember that from this chapter alone.
Good thing I already suspected this from ch0 and prepared notes for all the names(so far we have 8 named characters and more than 10 proper noun concepts in the form of places and tribes).
Regardless, I do like the story and don't have a problem with it being a huge world, but now I see why you said on the discord that you struggled with fitting the whole story into the contest length.

Stories across the Five Tribes

Chapter:1

Apr 06, 2025

So that's why those three african spirits got such detailed descriptions...
Good luck, Sakuya, you're gonna need it a lot.

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:29

Apr 06, 2025

Great chapter, very dramatic, morally grey as I like it, and a solid conclusion to Pauline's arc.
On the other hand, I'm not sure how to feel about the reveal. It is very surprising and important for Elisa, but I don't know if we, as the audience, have been given enough info about her father beforehand to be shocked about this.
I'm only talking about the moment of the twist, since I didn't feel much when I read it. The following pieces of info about the type of person he is and what he might've done are very interesting, and I'm optimistic about the next few chapters since I expect the explanation for all of it to be great.

Tinker, Tailor, Tyrant, Traitor, Husband… Mine?!

Chapter:37

Apr 05, 2025

Samurai Spirit MVP

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:26