Cashew Cocoa / Comments

Cashew Cocoa

Just a writer for fun. Been doing my private scribbles for over a decade and it was time I started writing for a public.
You can find my Discord account in the HF server if you want to chat. I'm open to feedback or just discussing my stories in general.

registered at: Mar 05, 2025

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aaa

Apr 18, 2025

To:_Caity_

I'm often against info-dumps, but in this instance they might be the lesser of two evils. Regardless, if you can give additional layers to the scene, make the info-dump amusing or funny, and overall integrate it in a natural way, it can work very well.

Stories across the Five Tribes

Chapter:8

Apr 18, 2025

Mean grannies are the best. Well deserved slaps. Bad MADigan, you better behave from now on.
I guess weavers are so OP you had to make Isolde a nerfed one and have her travel without any of her skilled fellows.
Now I'll get a bit more serious and share my opinion on the topic Lolo mentioned: I believe I understand most of the stuff and concepts so far, HOWEVER, I am also paying more attention than with other novels and taking notes on names and stuff. I know how hard the balance of show vs tell is, but I'd say your world seems interesting enough for you to be able to afford a few instances of info-dumping(within reason) for clarification purposes.

Stories across the Five Tribes

Chapter:8

Apr 17, 2025

'He never learned his lesson' almost makes it sound like he died lol.

Stories across the Five Tribes

Chapter:6

Apr 17, 2025

"In all their plump, jiggly, massive, soft glory" …ok.
I also find the term "her late mother's older sister" kinda funny because of how much of a mouthful it is.
Lastly, I wanted to comment on how smoothly you slided in the african greeting/apology. The way you integrate and blend the cultures into your story is truly unmatched in this contest.

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:34

Apr 17, 2025

I would less than three this chapter twice if I could.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:15

Apr 17, 2025

Friendly reminder that your prose and vocabulary are top tier, and the character interactions adorably human.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:14

Apr 17, 2025

Alright, the opening scene was BONE CHILLING, geez.
Nothing but praise for this chapter. Very dramatic, action packed and an great follow up from previous setup with the statue and it's supernatural effect on demons.

Tinker, Tailor, Tyrant, Traitor, Husband… Mine?!

Chapter:45

Apr 17, 2025

Solid chapter of "shit going down". The beginning of the end as one might say.
Just a bit confusing at times. Not nearly as much as the previous two, but keep it mind for future editing that, because there's a ton of perspective swaps, it's a bit hard to focus on the ones that are not Daniel. The short fix would be to give more context to each perspective, but that has the risk of slowing down a chapter that's supposed to be fast and erratic, so idk.

Tinker, Tailor, Tyrant, Traitor, Husband… Mine?!

Chapter:44

Apr 16, 2025

Ben 30.
Also good thing physics are optional so Shiun can be caught at that speed and not even break a bone.
Also good thing Gram Gran (Babysitting a Kaiju) isn't here or she'd scold the crap out of Jumo for leaving a crater on public grounds.

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:33

Apr 15, 2025

Nah, forget Madigan's tsundereness and Isolde's sisterness, Roe is the new fav.
Her quirks and relationship are both adorable.
I dunno what you have planned for the future but don't you dare separate these two anytime soon.

Stories across the Five Tribes

Chapter:4

Apr 14, 2025

To:Ashley

I mean, a big reason for the fast pacing is so we can get to the doki-doki faster. Can't have the cake and eat it too unfortunately.

The waste where silver gods lie

Chapter:2

Apr 14, 2025

Be very VERY careful with this part of the plot because it's extremely easy to mess up. So far I don't dare to judge as it is too soon, but just keep in mind that a badly handled time travel / pararell reality plot can break everything a story stands for.

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:32

Apr 14, 2025

I'm not much of a fan of this fight, the power up was a bit too much for my taste. It just went from Sakuya being owned to Sakuya owning, and all that right after she received so many injuries it felt like she shouldn't even be alive, much less fight.
Its my personal opinion, but I would've had an easier time accepting this if the fight was more balanced, with both parties hurting each other, gradually weakening one another, the gods marveling at Sakuyas tenacity, asking her why she fights so strongly, etc etc.

Black & White: Spirits, Love, and Traditions

Chapter:31

Apr 14, 2025

Alright, the changes help A LOT to put things into perspective.
I can finally say I understand whats going on, but unfortunately I can't say for certain if it's all thanks to the changes or because I've read both chapters a second time. You might need more opinions from people who read the improved version for a first time.
Other than that, both chapters are beautiful, so great job with them.

Tinker, Tailor, Tyrant, Traitor, Husband… Mine?!

Chapter:43

Apr 14, 2025

The scene is pretty and all but its waaayyy waaayyy too confusing. Like most of the time I couldn't really enjoy it because I had no idea what was going on.
Was Elisa transforming, was it her mother? Both? Who was on the back of who? Shared memories? Wat?
So in the end I think the result is that Elisa has cool birb powers and RIP her mother, but Christ the journey to this point was full of so much cryptic writing I couldn't make head or tails of anything.

Tinker, Tailor, Tyrant, Traitor, Husband… Mine?!

Chapter:43