May 14, 2025
I wish to agree with what other commenter's have said, this painful is excruciatingly hard and painful to read. I personally have little to no experience being confronted by homophobia / transphobia, outside of religious groups attacking my existence as a bi-sexual woman. However the little experience I have acquired over the years, definitely feels as though it may have been reflected within this chapter. I wasn't even targeted, yet i feel as though I have been attacked. Which I believe was the Author's intention when writing this.
I want to preface this by saying, I 100% believe you have no intention of harming anyone within your writing which is why I deeply appreciate the content warning in the beginning.
This chapter very obviously is one of the harsher ones on the reader, especially considering the target audience, I believe many readers will feel that "punch to the gut" feeling that some commenter's (including me) have felt while reading it. Having literature be able to evoke this feeling within other people, must be an achievement you are proud to have recieved.
Upon that, the realisation Elisabeth has, at the very end of the chapter, essentially makes it seem as though the dream caused her to realise that the way she has been thinking about "being straight" is fraud within the Situation she is in.
The way she is thinking truly shows a lot about her as an individual actually, she entirely seperates Elisabeth and "not Elisabeth" while also accepting that yes "i'm Elisabeth now". It almost feels as though she is trying to establish that barrier mentally, so she can indulge in being herself, being Elisabeth.
Which is also shown at the very end of the chapter when she elaborates that she needs to deal with one issue at a time.
Deep within her mind's she is aware of her sexual identity, and though she might now admit it currently, eventually (most likely when the next Scourge attacks) will have to also deal with the mental conclusion that she is trans.
I adore this writing, the multilayered-ness of each individual chapter and interaction within this realm make it so incredibly well designed. The feeling's expressed within each Chapter make reading this Novel worth it, and enhance the experience repeatedly. 
