Chris Zee / Comments

Chris Zee

Hello I'm Chris Zee, I'm an Otaku who loves isekai, romance, slice of life, action etc... I also like writing and reading.

Oh and if you're interested in my story give it a read. (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

registered at: Jun 27, 2025

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aaa

Oct 21, 2025

I forgot to ask you bro. Are you entering the twilight frontier competition?

Learning to Like You

Chapter:14

Oct 21, 2025

Pretty awesome my dude. Sakura really cares about Haruto now. He's basically the only thing he can think about. She literally didn't care about herself, only he was her concern. Great development.

But, we gotta talk about her dialogue. The "Shut the fuck up" felt forced for a character who is like Sakura. Instead she could have maybe said "Just shut up!" Or "Don't say that about him!" Or something else along those lines. She can't just go from being shy to straight up cussing so abruptly. Her character needs to build towards that, so that it will feel earned instead of forced. If you want you can get free lessons from jed herne on YouTube on how to make good dialogue, he's really good at teaching about how to become a writer, I learned a lot from him, and maybe you can too. Sorry for being so harsh but please know that I'm only trying to help, cause you're story will lose our rivalry battle between our stories🤣. I want competition from you but at this rate, I'll be claiming victory easily, (I'm kidding.) Keep at it my dude. Sorry again 😅.

Learning to Like You

Chapter:14

Oct 20, 2025

I knew there was gonna be a fight scene, and it was pretty good. Although Sakura's reaction was a little melodramatic or at least that's how it seems. But as I read, I could tell she didn't want to see him get hurt. That's pretty good.

Note: Sakura is fine as she is now, but if she stays as she is she'll start to feel one dimensional, but to avoid that you'll need to make her development happen faster. For example: after this chapter and the next, she starts to feel less shy and starts to express herself more, like the main character of Honey Lemon Soda, since Sakura is similar to her and all. Make sure that each chapter displays her development. Haruto's determination should inspire her, or something along those lines. (Sorry if I'm being forward.😅)

Learning to Like You

Chapter:13

Oct 19, 2025

Oh he did not just kiss her in heat of the moment like that, I'll admit, Eiji's got balls. He kissed her without even getting embarrassed, my dude's confidence is admirable.