peanutspersonally / Comments | Honeyfeed

peanutspersonally

I'm only here to support some friends. But, farq it, I'll write some junk while I'm at it.

Sorry, spam alerts are driving me crazy so I just follow novels directly.

registered at: Jul 02, 2025

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aaa

Oct 13, 2025

Nice happy ending. This story has a Disney, I guess, vibe. The times Janessa is with Cassius, there's a Frozen or Beauty and the Beast quality. Other times the tone makes me think of those YA high school romance novels with the bitch girls club like the protagonist fighting against the Heathers. It's strange for me to say, but even though this is a first person perspective, I keep thinking this is 3rd limited. Not sure why. I guess because it kinda moves like one at times. That's not a bad thing by the way, it just means that the identity of the protagonist is clear in all instances.

I guess the one constructive pointer I have, is that I didn't feel the stakes in the story even when Janessa was arrested. They're definitely there, no denying, and people are nice, bitchy, caring, energetic, angry... but, because I'm never quite sure of each character's core motivations, perhaps that's why the stakes don't sink home to me. Don't mind me, chalk this down to reader brain-drain. If anything, your story and mine are similar in tone and vibes, so it's probably why I'm seeing certain things in this narrative to reflect what others see in mine.

Overall, the story is very chic (I say it in a nice way). A different read for the contest. Congrats on making it through to the end.

I can only Sew Fancy Dresses, but I'm forced to become a Queen in Another World!

Chapter:30

Oct 13, 2025

to be the 3rd wheel of a couple, lol.

I can only Sew Fancy Dresses, but I'm forced to become a Queen in Another World!

Chapter:16

Oct 13, 2025

Life is so cruel to women of those times, and to be resilient through it all. Respects.

I, a Hermaphrodite, Live by Taking Lives

Chapter:3

Oct 13, 2025

Good narrative so far. It feels very wuxia.

I, a Hermaphrodite, Live by Taking Lives

Chapter:2

Oct 12, 2025

To:peanutspersonally

I should say, any part that isn't the "flat" side of the stick is a foul. This is a link reference to the game if anyone is interested. [www.olympics.com/en/news/field-hockey-rules-how-to-play]
I used this for Kairo's combat sport, because it's related to a certain 'hidden' theme... and it's my sport. 😆

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:11

Oct 12, 2025

To:peanutspersonally

Generally to hit the player and make a play with the round sided (or any side) of the stick is a foul. But Kairo's intention and the arena altered the rules to allow full contact.

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:11

Oct 12, 2025

To:Ashfell

It's Field Hockey that's played with a hard ball, which is dribbled across a grass pitch. This sport has slight different rules to Ice Hockey, especially score zones and offside rules.

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:11

Oct 12, 2025

To:Ashfell

Oh, I should've started off with "hockey stick". Thanks for calling that out. Obviously, I'll fix up post-contest should I ever get around to edits.

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:11

Oct 12, 2025

To:kazesenken

Thanks for reading all the way through. Appreciate.

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:70

Oct 11, 2025

To:kazesenken

I hope that's a good thing 😅 Tbh, Kairo making this decision was one of those "sounded good at the time" kind of decisions. His mother will scold him for it later on Earth.

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:64

Oct 11, 2025

To:kazesenken

True true. Kairo has to have his cake and eat it too. He just gotta be fully selfish 😆

In One-Eye Stickman We Trust

When I bought That Suspect Baroque Closet and Lamp, I Didn't Expect to Be a Mundane Wizard for the Demon Prince of Another World

Chapter:62

Oct 11, 2025

Congrats on writing your first story.🎉 It's a not an easy feat. You were able to write within contest period too, so well done.

What I felt worked well was the action and world detailing, especially the technology revolving around Mecha. The story carried solid Dark Fantasy/SF Fantasy with Portal and Dystopian elements.

I think you took to the craft admirably being something brand new to you. Naturally, there's areas to improve. To be honest, even after doing creative writing for years, development never ends as every story is a different experience.😂

Your grammar is, in general, solid. So, I think, for now, your current development would benefit in honing narrative (Pace) and (Flow): core fundamentals, which go a long way. I won't go more into them as it's best self-discovered. However, I do recommend checking out Reedsy or Novel Factory for some basic insights (free info should suffice) should you wish to continue with creative fiction writing.

Also, you don't need to reciprocate reads with my story. Up to you if you want to continue reading Kairo's Isekai. Thank you for checking it out.

Welcome to the Creative Writing World. 😆

The Daughter of Cursed Steel

Chapter:38

Oct 10, 2025

Lol. Rachael gonna slowly end-up a biodroid if she's not careful 😆

The Daughter of Cursed Steel

Chapter:24

Oct 10, 2025

Ouch. Poor Rachael.

The Daughter of Cursed Steel

Chapter:21

Oct 10, 2025

You do the action well.

The Daughter of Cursed Steel

Chapter:18