Oct 11, 2025
Congrats on writing your first story.🎉 It's a not an easy feat. You were able to write within contest period too, so well done.
What I felt worked well was the action and world detailing, especially the technology revolving around Mecha. The story carried solid Dark Fantasy/SF Fantasy with Portal and Dystopian elements.
I think you took to the craft admirably being something brand new to you. Naturally, there's areas to improve. To be honest, even after doing creative writing for years, development never ends as every story is a different experience.😂
Your grammar is, in general, solid. So, I think, for now, your current development would benefit in honing narrative (Pace) and (Flow): core fundamentals, which go a long way. I won't go more into them as it's best self-discovered. However, I do recommend checking out Reedsy or Novel Factory for some basic insights (free info should suffice) should you wish to continue with creative fiction writing.
Also, you don't need to reciprocate reads with my story. Up to you if you want to continue reading Kairo's Isekai. Thank you for checking it out.
Welcome to the Creative Writing World. 😆