Sep 09, 2021
Personally, I was having trouble grasping and properly remembering the characters in the prologue, due to all of them being introduced and having their own focus time all in that singular chapter. I think that's fine generally, but in a prologue, it feels a little scrambled. At least to me.
When some of the family members got into the car accident, I had a very hard time feeling for them or having any personal sympathy towards them. I could be mistaken, but it feels like it was written out to be a slow, emotional moment. However, I think the way you connected it with Mark in this chapter, and how he simply didn't know where they were while the reader already knows what happened, gave me a very unexpected delayed sense of mourn for them.
It's obviously too late to be giving heavy criticism this point, but personally I hope to see more of that emotional connection using Mark's lens, as I think you did a stellar job with it here.