Oct 02, 2021
M'kech. Hello. 'tis time.
I'm writing this to the tune of Rocky Road to Dublin, so don't mind the 'poeticness' of what I'll say.
'twas a nice chapter. I won't pester you about the length, because I'm assured from the style alone that this was meant to be just like the first chapter of manga, usually longer form than the rest of them. Plus, it never gave me an air of extraneousness, so I guess it's fine, though I do have a qualm with something. :)
I like the theme, as common as it is. The very common, Romantic 'purifying power of love' is pretty literal here, but that doesn't make it all the less impactful. It takes 8 seconds or so to fall in love and it's nice to see that Yuri here reciprocated poor Romeo's feelings. If anything, this feels like a funny retelling of Romeo and Juliet and reverse Nisekoi, which I'm assured was the intention.
My qualm is multi-faceted. :) I wonder if the introduction of the two adjutants of Romeo needed to be introduced here, especially since they don't seem to really do anything, but exist. They don't offer reflection, they're kind of there just to signal some conflict, I guess?
As for the storyline, I couldn't help but feel that the scene transitions kind of ran overboard. I understand one or two or three, but I think you had around six? Most of them also able to be done with a singular sentence in lieu of that scene break character. Would've given it a bit more fluency.
Lastly, I wonder if there is a stylistic reason for alternating between present and past tense so often in-between scenes. It kind of takes me off the immersion, but I guess it can be warranted.
Anyway, I wanna see Romeo kiss Yuriet and show up both the Makai and the Kapporo (hopefully that's the name and spelling). And hopefully there will be no poison.
Bubbles, out. :3
