Sep 17, 2021
Aight. Done.
Disregard the comment I made on Chapter 11, the one with the group. Might've been chapter 12, I don't remember. Either way, I was dumb and tired, I retract what I said.
My first love for this story is, without a doubt, the characters. I find them to be exquisitely crafted, chicanes and all. I've expressed great admiration towards Karin's persona and the conflicts plaguing her and I'd echo them, were they warranting a repetition. Baise's lines were consistently the most interesting and I could definitely see his analytic spirit and poised behaviour shining through, even in the most dire of circumstances. Rose proved to be more fragile than met the eye, the cool persona he projected being nothing more than the facade his role as leader demanded him. They all brim with humanity, and I like that more than I probably should.
However, what this novel suffers most from is pacing. Too much had been spent trying to paint a very odd frame of a world that seems to emulate our own but is also extremely far removed from ours. Granted, with mahou shoujo, dark lords and evil monsters existing, that was a given, but I feel like it still tried to be rather true to the source material. Apart from that, we have around 6 chapters in which something that would've made for a much better 'set-up' arc is explored, chapters that don't do them justice. The actions feel momentary and more categorical than they need to be, the whole emotionality is lost when it doesn't have the build-up required for it to actually stick. It's something I can't get behind, but I assume this is a consequence of the time crunch and word crunch you've been subjected to.
I think it was chapter 14 that suffered the most. The whole series of disjointed flashback was meant to be something BoJack's View From Halfway Down, but it just came across as a very disheveled and disjointed series of panels that did little to push anything forward, past the one where we're revealed what actually happened to Aka. This is but one of the many examples where the execution was well-intended, but just tripped and fell over itself for reasons I can't explain.
And the ending, oh, the ending. Those last two paragraphs absolutely destroy me. It feels like you're just cutting a steak with the bluntest, most dully serrated blade ever. And it saddens me because this novel had a ton of potential, which could've easily been achieved through a bit more careful organisation of everything.
The elements resonated quite well with me, the monotony and repetition of the quotidian, the contrast between who she is, was, wants to be and actually manages to be, the dilemma cast upon the entire cast's actions... They were neatly introduced in the opening chapters, but by the halfway point, they just *poof*-ed. After the contest is done, I'd like to see if this novel could exist in a better form. Something a bit more chiseled and refined with the ideas more accurately and poignantly fleshed out.
I'd love to see more of the conflicts plaguing the other Magical Girls, too. The last interactions they have feel like talk no jutsu and the only one torn apart by them having to kill their friend is Roxy, but that was her shtick from the get-go, so she doesn't count. I'd love to see a more streamlined explanation of the entire situation and a bit more introspection into Aka's troubled character done by herself, not by others. If anything, she feels like she's the least aware of her own condition.
I guess that be it. Hopefully you got something from it. If not, I'm happy to explain further on Discord. With that, I'mma bid you a good day and...
Kind regards,
Bubbles. :3
