Jio Kurenai

Jio Kurenai

Author of Parable of the Renegades, or ParaRene for short.

Aspiring Game Designer and writer who loves it when games and stories get married to create an experience.

Criticism of my work is definitely welcome, so long as it's constructive!

I'm also looking forward to reading what you write! ;D

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June 21st, 2020 was the last time "Parable of the Renegades" made it to the #1 spot in both the Weekly and Monthly Rankings!

As this is my first web novel, I can't ever hope to describe how ecstatic I am! Thank you to all my readers for the rad comments, which I always make time to read. I hope I can continue to write prose that makes your already satisfying day even better!

registered at: Nov 15, 2016
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    Jul 15, 2017

    To:Deleted User

    Yo! It always brightens up my day when a new comment on my novel comes up so please don't stop sending them whenever you can!

    I'm also more than happy to answer questions whenever I can.
    SO. HERE. WE. GO.

    1. Why is Rio so dark? Her reason for killing off the Knight's of Viola?
    - Since her introduction from chapter 4, Rio has introduced herself as an assassin who kills others for money. With her skills, Rio mentioned in chapter 6 that she has a high reputation and is also very expensive to hire because she can somehow go around the world quickly for an assignment. The money is used to provide for her family because as Lucas noticed in chapter 6, The only people who live in Rio's house are Rio herself and her sister, Yakumo. The both of them are unable to earn a lot normally as they are still in High school and Middle school respectively and a lot of money is definitely needed to continue living stable lives in a house with more than the basic needs.

    - As Rio told Lucas in chapter 6, part of the rules she sticks to as an assassin is that while she is normally focused on her target, she will also kill anyone who sees or can potentially see her so that there are no witnesses to her assassination. This is why she killed the Knights of Viola. It was nothing personal, it was out of worry that they may inform others about her had they lived.

    -Her dark side as revealed in this chapter was a result of so many kills in assassination missions developing another kind of craving in her. Rio assassinates her targets with one or a few strikes without them being aware of her before it's too late. As of now, this quick method of violence has become boring for Rio and she now wants another way to use her talents for a more exciting experience. Now she desires a fight where she can feel the thrill of battle, fight someone who can see her coming and rely more on her physical skills rather than her katana. At the same time, however, there is conflict in her emotions. Assassination is a job and not a means for Rio to satisfy her sense of bloodlust. Her job means she doesn't kill unless she gets paid for it. Also, Rio doesn't want to call herself or let others see her as someone who likes to start fights just to satisfy herself, so she only lets this side of her out when it comes to self-defense. Of course as hinted at the end of this chapter, when she gets to finally fight in self-defense, Rio appears to be ready to unleash her bloodlust and downright murder her attackers.

    2. Every Human male is lecherous besides Lucas?
    -They're just guys who have reached the adolescent age so most of them are pretty interested in the opposite gender. It doesn't help them either that a pretty girl (Rio, Rea or Viola) was in the same scene. Then again, Rio's Influence does force the emotional trigger of "climatic happiness" aka arousal or erotic stimulation whenever someone steps into it. Since Lucas has become aware that these stimulating emotions were as a result of an Influence and not because he actually felt that way, he can keep himself calm to some extent.

    3. Did Rio swim in just her undergarments? Volcanic activity?
    -Yes. She didn't expect herself a beach to be so nearby and she had no swimsuit with her so her undergarments were a substitute. She only wore her eye patch, sarashi and a fundoshi. Look the last two up if you don't know what they are!

    -There is no mention of a volcano. The lake water just so happened to be lukewarm or room temperature. Neither hot nor cold.

    4. How did Rio travel quickly between Sarkansas and Nihan when both are located on the opposite sides of the world?
    - She told Lucas the method is a secret in chapter 6, and she intends to keep it that way for now.

    Whew! That should be all questions. I'm still standing... barely. Still, keep on asking if there is something you don't understand! Thanks again for your support!

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    Volume 1 Cover
    Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
    Chapter:13






    cover-default
    I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!
    Chapter:2






    Jun 22, 2017

    To:TrinityNovels

    I don't want to leave this question hanging since you addressed it to me (and anyone else who's willing), but I don't think I can criticize you're writing style because it is one of the references I look to when I'm having writer's block. I too don't have any professional training and I relied on trying to re-live the excitement I feel when reading the works of others into my own. That being said, I can at least share some of the aspects in writing that make the experience better for me. Just so you know, I'm unsure whether or not you use these because I only remember the events of HEC, and not how you wrote them. So please hear me out for now.

    1.) Minimize the use of adverbs
    - I want to try to make my readers visualize the same way I imagined it and adverbs are sometimes subjective.

    This is my favorite example: "She danced gracefully as she went to me." [Gracefully], is pretty general, so it would be better to use at least a verb that means to dance in a certain manner that YOU consider graceful. My final take on the sentence above would be "She pirouetted toward me." It's more specific and shorter too, right? In case you didn't know, a pirouette is a ballet motion involving spinning with one leg suspended and bent at an angle while the other one keeps the dancer standing.

    I'm still using adverbs up to now, but only because I feel like there is only one way to describe that scene or because I have no idea on what's a better alternative. Describing something as happening [slowly] is one example, but I recently used [at a snail's pace] as an alternative.

    2.) Don't always be too direct with descriptions
    - Being direct is fine if the reader must know a certain piece of information, but if that information is optional, it may be better to write it in a way that would make it sound rewarding for the reader if he can figure out what it implies. Honestly, I think I'm better at indirection in dialogue rather than in descriptions.

    One example is from the game Injustice 2 (Definitely recommend it if you play fighting games). One of the possible interactions between the DC characters Scarecrow and Captain Cold make one of them feel savage for being indirect.

    Scarecrow: "Do you fear death?"
    Captain Cold: "I prefer to flirt with it."
    Scarecrow: "So did your sister..."

    Here, captain cold implies that he likes to take thrilling risks while Scarecrow implies that his sister is dead judging from his tone.

    3.) Innuendo
    -Okay, this is a bit of give and take, but I enjoy ecchi manga and light novels. Despite that, I like it more when raunchy scenes are described indirectly or hinted rather than spoken straight to the point.
    The way you described Kudo and Hinota's training in the early chapters of HEC was a nice example, hence why I commented that I approve their training.

    Those were just the ones on the top of my head. Hope they were helpful if some of them were new, but also a great reminder that you're doing great if you've been using this techniques for a while. :)

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    Hour Empty Child
    Chapter:60