Feb 11, 2026
Hi there! First of all, congrats on finishing, especially with such a long novel. I've been thinking of this one a bit and have some thoughts.
To start out, I think the first few chapters are fantastic. The way this throws you right into Miya's suicide attempt, showing the general horrors of her life, is very gripping and does a good job setting the tone.
It's in the middle where I think things get a bit more mushy. There are times where it feels like the same chapters are repeated over and over again, and while I think the characters, especially Mukashi and his clear decline mentally here, do shine. But amidst the monotony, it starts to kind of fall flat.
I want to highlight Mukashi again here, because I think he's by far the best part of the book. You do a fantastic job overall with him, showing his mental state, and just having his perspective both be similar and different from Maya's.
If the novel were a bit shorter and cut out a good chunk of the fat, and sped things up a bit with a lot less filler, I think it could really shine, but in its current state, the inconsistent slow pacing and pov changes that largely detract from the story and hamper its potential.
