Jan 02, 2025
What an ending sheesh.
I feel lolo did all my work here for me, as I pretty much agree with what she, and somewhat Hype as well said here. I love the themes, and I think you have an interesting idea and the parts of the story we do get here are great, its just there's so little and to me at least it does feel like the contest deadlines and restrictions made this feel pretty rushed and if it had more time unbound by the deadline I feel that would have solved most the issues.
I'm gonna break the grain from lolo here a bit, I did kinda like Sprout, there was a bit of that disconnect that kaze mentioned but I could very much see where she was coming from, but I absolutely wish the other members of her party got more screen time, as I think for me at least that's the main reason their deaths didn't hit super hard.
Saying that I found your prose pretty snappy personally and this was something that was super easy and fun for me to read in one sitting, something that I have an issue with for a lot of novels on here, but even with the flaws I mentioned in the last paragraph I still found this an interesting read with some really potentially cool themes.
Good luck with everything ✌️
