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OscarHM

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It has to be this way.

registered at: Jun 28, 2021

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Jul 18, 2021

To:Dreadfuse TG

Man doesn't have time to write business cards, he's writing bibles 😎

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:5

Jul 18, 2021

Finally caught up!

It took me a while because to be honest, I wasn't sure how to feel about the first couple of chapters but things have come on leaps and bounds since then.

I think there's some good action here and a much better sense of pace (especially in the newer, slightly shorter chapters.)

If I had anything to say, and I saw someone else comment this a couple chapters back, it's that the sentences and dialogue could probably be trimmed down a bit. You use a lot of extra words or phrases which I think bog down the pacing of scenes somewhat.

Good work! Looking forward to the next chapter 😁

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:7

Jul 18, 2021

To:Dreadfuse TG

What are clothes but cloth chains?

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:4

Jul 18, 2021

To:Aero

It was an emotional moment for all involved

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:3

Jul 17, 2021

To:shaneghoul

😩

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:0

Jul 17, 2021

To:Arrhythmia

Glad to hear you enjoyed!

I hope I can make the coming chapters even better!

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:1

Jul 17, 2021

To:Magicherb

You mean the best type of bar

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:3

Jul 17, 2021

To:He'snotevenconscious

What you mean?

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:3

Jul 17, 2021

To:shaneghoul

Spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to type an umlaut in word only to give up and just copy paste it.

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:4

Jul 17, 2021

To:Sevenlock

Vore is a brutal industry I’m afraid

Vorelando Magic

Chapter:3

Jul 17, 2021

To:shaneghoul

Thank you!

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:2

Jul 17, 2021

To:shaneghoul

And now you know

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:3

Jul 17, 2021

To:kazesenken

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I hope I can strike that balance better in the chapters to come.

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:4

Jul 17, 2021

Really like some the way dialogue is constructed here and the way world building is woven into it and the mother's inner monologue. ('sometimes the need be' is a great line, idk it just struck me when I read it)

Will be continuing, hope you keep it up!

Drinking Coffee while Dinosaurs Roam My Backyard

Chapter:1

Jul 16, 2021

To:He'snotevenconscious

Thanks!

Glad you liked it (and more importantly Kai)

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:4

OscarHM

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