Jul 23, 2021
To:Bubbles
Thank you so much for the in depth comment!
I’ll respond to your points in turn, not to dismiss the criticism because it’s not invalid but to explain where some of these things come from for me and what I’m trying to do.
I came into this novel determined to do things differently, something unique to me. That’s why for instance the dialogue is the way it is, I had an idea of trying to write a novel without any conventional dialogue will tags and I’m committed to seeing it through. The part that you said is confusing definitely is now that I look at it again, I bring this up just to say that I will be looking for a way to fix that without using a dialogue tag.
Similarly with the lack of tonal indicators, that’s something I want to try and perfect, though I do understand that this (and my sparse descriptions) simply won’t be to everyone’s tastes.
For me, and it’s difficult for me to step back from my work and look at it like a third party, I do think there’s personality within the bar though I only need or want small details to allow me to fill in a larger picture.
Similarly for Kai’s monologues, I’m not entirely sure what is so different between them this chapter or any other, although to be honest I don’t exactly have much method when it comes to that, they’re free flowing and they could easily be much more different in every chapter than I think them to be.
I’m commenting now without having fully gone back over my own text, so I’m going to try doing that and see if I can apply any of what you have to say or if anything I’ve initially disagreed with jumps out at me.
Thanks so much again for the time you’ve taken for this, it’s really appreciated!
