Jul 29, 2021
Hi there,
I really enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I think your characters have a lot of personality, your prose is easy to consume and it’s an enjoyable read. So far, I think Sereya’s my favourite character and I think that you’ve set up some really interesting characters arcs for her and our MC to explore down the line, so I’ll definitely be coming back to see those realised.
I saw Seven point this out already, but there are some instances here and there that I think either sound a bit awkward or just don’t flow as well as the rest of your work. Also, I will say that until this chapter, I was very confused about our MC’s past and sort of struggled to understand what exactly had happened to him. I think the two names, combined with the sort of non-stop pace of the plot caused that confusion. Maybe if there was just a bit more before they go into the woods to nail down what’s happened to our MC would help.
That said, I do think this chapter fixes that problem, but that lack of clarity could potentially make someone stop reading your work which I think would be a great shame as I think you've really got a good story here.
Overall, I think this is a good start and I definitely want to read more which, ultimately, is the main thing.
Keep up the good work!
