Sep 28, 2021
Greetings. I've finally made it to the end! I had some things I wanted mention.
First, let me say that I've enjoyed Dragon's Flight. Phos is living my dream right now, flying around as a dragon. I don't even know why he would want to be a human. I know I wouldn't. If I knew I could be a dragon, I'd stay in that form forever. So I guess I'm Lilia.
Anyway, I like your whole writing style and I think your character's dialogue reflect their personalities pretty well. I was able to tell who was speaking just from the lines which is a good sign.
I think your setting is fascinating. Floating islands, eternal winter, flighted and grounded. Very interesting. I like that I could easily see the differences between the dragon society, the human society, and our own society. Very nice.
The main issue I have with the novel as a whole is the plot. It doesn't really feel like much has happened. You have the three main events, Azamuth (Or however that's spelled), Phos' transformation, and Stoneshaker. Although it doesn't feel like any conflicts have been resolved. This feels like an overly long prologue.
You have a nice introduction of both main characters and then a nice set up for their mission. Aurelia needs to find Veskar and her egg. But once Veskar appears we sort of... Forget. About the egg. It's mentioned here and there, but otherwise it's forgotten by the main characters.
Because of that, neither Aurelia or Phos have any motivations to preform the actions they do. I was informed recently, that stories are driven by motivation or quests. Without a mission, the story sort of becomes like a slice-of-life. What I mean is, it seems like Aurelia and Phos are just being dragged along while the story happens around them.
I think it would have been interesting if, when Aurelia encountered Azamuth's queen again, the queen would guilt her into the hunt for her egg. Either by draconian customs or just Aurelia's pure guilt. 'You lost the egg I entrusted to you. You will help me find it.'
That sort of thing. And what about Phos? Now that he and Lilia can transform freely, why don't they return to their village? Other than the fact that being a dragon is badass. What if the villagers found Aurelia and when to hunt her, so Phos went to stop them and that's when he transformed into a dragon? That way, the villagers wouldn't let them back so he has no choice.
Also. On a side note, the romance at the end felt a bit forced. It seems like Phos still has the mindset of a human. And unless he's into dragons I don't think he would get jealous.
Anyway, that's it. I'm hoping to see more from this series in the future.
