Sep 21, 2021
To:Joe Gold
OML YES THANK YOU! I really needed a review of my work, because I wanna improve, so I thank you for writing this very very long comment.
Ok let me begin with responding to your praise. I thank you for figuring out what I was going for here with this story, and I hope I live up your expectations.
Next the criticism. I completely understand why your criticizing Jonah, and I can’t deny that Jonah currently is just comic relief in order to keep the story from getting too edgy, but I promise there is a point to him other then that. Probably in around two chapters, you’ll see what his purpose in the story really is, and later on he will become vital towards the story. I promise. Also he is inspired by puck and isidiro hehe.
I completely agree with everything else, I do need to improve on the demons(even if them looking like paler humans is very necessary to the message) and will attempt to fix it. The rest is completely valid. I will attempt to improve on everything else you criticized, and check out those links when I have the time.
Thanks for this very long review! 🙏🕊
