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Glitch

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. AE.

registered at: Jul 25, 2021

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aaa

Oct 28, 2023

To:Kurono Kuro

😆 Thanks for reading

Eros

Chapter:1

Oct 28, 2023

To:Bubbles

Wow Thanks for reading it I really appreciate your thoughtful analysis and feedback on the story.

And yeah, Thana’sdistress over how she's perceived by humans may indeed seem strange, given her divine status. However, the story intends to humanize these gods to a certain extent, allowing readers to empathize with their emotional experiences. The idea is that even gods can question their purpose and place in the universe.

It's important to remember that fiction often uses elements of symbolism, metaphor, and allegory to explore complex ideas and emotions. While this story introduces philosophical elements, it primarily aims to convey the enduring power of love and the depths of human emotion. The "why" behind the gods' emotions may not be the central focus; instead, the story seeks to create an emotional connection between the characters and readers.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts

And I've just completed my second entry, and I would be honored if you could take a look at it. Your critical eye and thoughtful feedback would be incredibly valuable

Eros

Chapter:1

Oct 20, 2023

I'm glad I could provide an entertaining read. Best of luck with the contest to you too.

Eros

Chapter:1

Oct 16, 2023

To:Saika

Yeah 1500 words wasn't enough to write it how I really wanted. Thanks for reading.

Eros

Chapter:1

Oct 14, 2023

This spinoff introduces a romantic element that enriches the emotional depth of the narrative and offers a unique perspective on the central theme, all while preserving the core essence of the original story, which delves into the desire for death and the intricate emotions that accompany it.

It's worth acknowledging that while this spinoff has its merits, it remains closely tied to the original story's structure, which may limit its capacity to provide a wholly fresh viewpoint.

But I personally found it engaging and thought-provoking. It piqued my curiosity about the circumstances that led the character to this point and who exactly the God of Death appeared as to her. It has successfully left me pondering the question, "What does she see?" This spinoff opens up opportunities for further exploration and backstory, which could be a fascinating addition.

What does she see?

Chapter:1

Oct 13, 2023

The writing style, while poetic, can be overly verbose and unnecessarily convoluted, making it a challenging read. However, the story does manage to convey the importance of human connection and the emotional weight of that bond. The concluding realization is a poignant moment that redeems the narrative to some extent. Overall, the story has potential but could benefit from more clarity and conciseness in its storytelling.

A Rejection from Thanatos

Chapter:1

Feb 03, 2023

This story is a very interesting look at the life of two young adults who are transitioning from high school to college and beyond. The dialogue between Lucille and Regina is naturalistic and realistic, adding depth to their characters. Additionally, you skillfully weaved in cultural elements such as anime references and Japanese culture into the story without it feeling forced or out of place.

The only suggestion I have for improvement would be to add more description around certain key moments to make them stand out even more. For example, when Lucille proposes their idea of ‘Having Japan at Home’, a few more sentences could be added to really emphasize the significance and impact of this moment. Overall, this is a great story that effectively tells the tale of two young adults navigating their lives and dreams.

Letter From Yokohama

Chapter:1

Feb 01, 2023

This is a great story that captures the feeling of a morning in a unique way. The description is vivid and creative, and the story has a nice arc to it. I particularly like how you show the progression of the morning from the quiet beginnings to the loud and exciting finish. My only suggestion would be to try to add a little bit more detail to certain moments to help the reader visualize the scene even more. Other than that, this is a great story!

Museworld

Chapter:1

Feb 01, 2023

This is a great piece of writing! The story is engaging and the characters are well-developed. The dialogue is natural and the plot moves along at a steady pace. You do a great job of setting the scene and conveying the emotions of the characters. The ending is satisfying, leaving the reader with a sense of closure. My only suggestion is to watch out for grammar and spelling errors, and make sure all your sentences are complete. Other than that, this is a great story!

I Became the Manager of the First Galactical Idols

Chapter:1

Feb 01, 2023

The details you have included in this story are great and they create a vivid image in the readers mind. However, some of the sentences could use a bit of editing to make them smoother. For example, the sentence: “The close I got to it the further I made out its appearance” could be rephrased to “The closer I got to it, the more of its appearance I could make out”. Furthermore, there are a few words that are repeated throughout the passage that could be replaced with synonyms to make it more interesting to read. For example, you have used the word “place” multiple times throughout the story and it could be replaced with words like location, spot, or area.

Overall, this is a great piece and with some minor editing it would be perfect.

Mystery Weaver

Chapter:1

Jan 31, 2023

Unconsciously Interested

Chapter:1

Jan 30, 2023

Rising from Ashes: The Last Heir Volume 1

Chapter:1

Jan 27, 2023

This is actually good🧐 It is well-written and engages the reader with its vivid description of the setting and characters. It also has many interesting elements😲the mystery around the Automaton, the juxtaposition of the old-fashioned rural life and modern technology, and the poignant ending. All in all, this is a great story with a lot of potential😋

Honey-chan's Winter Resort

Chapter:1

Sep 17, 2021

🤔🤔hmmm...

Second Chance At Life

Chapter:3

Sep 17, 2021

💯 Another good chapter. To the next, I go!

Second Chance At Life

Chapter:2

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