Jul 30, 2022
I kind of get what you are going for there! A company that found out "The Truth" and now there is no space for discussion or other opinions. It resembles the way a dictatorship works pretty well but just moved into a different context. There they have just one big guy at the top who determines what is right and wrong. Thinking is not necessary and not desired. The suppression of any objections is pretty classical as well. So I think we've got ourselves a very classical dictatorship.
I'm just curious how this "Truth" holds up to things like the weather forecast. It is really hard to forecast such fuzzy data and gets even harder the further in the future we forecast. Even if we assume determinism to be a thing, it is completely impossible for a machine or artificial neural network or whatever algorithm to grasp infinity. It will be flawed as long as it does not have ALL the data of every particle in the universe plus the capabilities to predict their connections with one another (a digital Laplace's Demon so to say). So how can this thing even hold up to its claim REMOTELY to not make the people go to the streets immediately? 😂
But maybe I am just approaching this machine differently from what you intended.
After all it is an interesting approach and premise and I really like the story so far. Some actions of the plot seem a bit mundane (for a not slice of life) and it feels a bit like their main premise is to space out the exposition. I feel like there could be more meaningful stuff happening (the first inciting incident with the guys speech at the market excluded - that was great). However, I get the problem and see that you have a lot ground to cover exposition-wide but maybe think about sparing this for later. Nonetheless, it is just a minor thing and complaining at a high level. 😋
And I like Nari and Makto's chemistry this far. I still haven't seen enough from Akane to decide for one team, but I already like Nari😁
Keep up the good work! 😊👍
