Jul 17, 2022
To:swagmc
Ohhh! I really feel stupid now, especially since I seem to be the only one who interpreted it this way 😂🙈
I thought the "Where is my axe?" was meant as a "Oh, my axe is suddenly gone! Who could have possibly taken it to kill people in this place?". Don't know how I came to that conclusion, since the way you intended it makes a lot more sense looking back. I even remember wondering back them ... "Hm ... who might have taken his axe and what for would this person use it?" (Since I did not anticipate that people really would get killed at that point 😅). And it was Va who disappeard into the basement RIGHT BEFORE Glenn found the dead bodies there. Also I can't remember that Bane has been running around with a bloody axe. I just assumed that she (or the second Va I still belived existed at that point😂🙈) took the axe and made good use of it. I just anticipated whole different things going on behind the curtains you had pulled in front of the story. But that is an interesting insight, so I'm just learning here as well. Let me think about how to prevent this ...
So this chain of events of the murders was always hinted at but it was never explicitly stated who it actually was. But stating it explicitly could also come across as on the nose. Therefore, a following event that is strictly dependent on the fact you want to bring across would be an option. Or something plot-related that can be embedded nicely into the story.
So, as an example: (even though it would not fit with the current plot it is the first thing that comes to my mind and is just an example to bring the point across) a possible solution would be to show how just Bane gets arrested by the police while all WTP members watch it. This would not explicitly state that he murdered the other ones, but implies it heavily since he is the only one getting arrested. A even better example where you already did this was the occurence of PlatinumOne. You introuced him as this mysterious guy and uncovered more and more information about him. When he uses "Alpha Male", it should normally be clear to everyone, that this guy right there is PlatinumOne. But lets assume that some reader did not get it there. You still have the last "fallback", when Glenn meets and recognizes him.
So I would guess "don't assume anything when it comes to relevant plot details" could also be an idea to consider. It would not be critical if some side information fall under the table, but who is the murderer and what Va's real identity was might be relevant. Even if it feels a bit on the nose, I would always try to find a creative way to strictly imply it at the end of this chain. Through doing that you could have even prevented my brain from making up a theory about a second Va. 😂
So the transition form: Foreshadowing --> Hinting --> Suggesting --> Strictly Implying --> (Stating) is vital in this I guess. Or do you have a different opiniton/take on what would have prevented this? 😅
Yeah, it rather felt like cheating for the sake of it. The travel itself did not have much relevance or any real justification/neccessity for the plot. The fight you suggested would have worked better in that regard since it just altered the plotpoint "epic end battle" and just gave it another absurd note. But I guess this battle would have brought other problems to the table (like being a bit cliché) and that's why you scraped it 😅
But maybe that is just my opinion ... 😂😅
Yeah, think about it maybe to round this abrubtness a bit of. And yes! The dices defintely close the circle, but the sences are formulated as if there would still be something coming afterwards. But I don't know, maybe it is just me. It is a rather small detail after all.
