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I like writing about mooches! Wanna chat? Hit me up on MyAnimeList :) Currently writing "My Government-Issued Girlfriend Can't Be This Cute!" Have other stories planned for the future, namely a certain isekai called "Dominion's Paradise" ~
What is an Achievement?
Nov 03, 2023
Woah, I don't see second person too often. Was pretty well done here. The ambiance and tone was great. I probably loved the bathroom description the most, since it said a lot about the character without saying much
Nov 02, 2023
Pretty good stuff. The angle of Thanatos being an involved, main character was kinda unique. Wasn't really expecting that.
Oct 30, 2023
Woah, super good prose in this one. Writing seems improved even just from Hime x Hime Really had fun visualizing the snowy atmosphere and then gradually leading to more thematic elements
Neat. I liked how it how it references the original novel a lot. Good imagery too. I feel like there's some symbolism I'm missing but forgive me since it's late haha Also I saw "fate" in there and I just gotta assume that's an FGO reference 😆
Oct 08, 2023
To:Xiellion
Thanks for the detailed feedback! Yeah, I could have probably written this last arc different but kind of had to go in this direction 😅 But I'm glad it seems you enjoyed everything else I'll improve future iterations of the story for sure
Oct 06, 2023
Ah, well this is sort of an alternate version I made just for the contest, but I'm happy some of the cuteness still came through
Sep 25, 2023
Probably one of the horniest entries in the contest, but that's not a bad thing 😆 Had lots of fun reading, especially comparing Kwan to Perci from Gentleman of the Apocalypse. They're two pretty polar opposite characters but the juxtaposition between them was always cool No real complaints either, except maybe just not being very clear when something is narration or an inner thought. Mixing some past and present tense too. But overall yeah, great ride. Suvi's storyline was particularly engaging since I have a similar character in my GiG novel If there's ever a sequel, I do hope Suvi returns to flesh herself out a little more Grats on completing your novel and wish you all the best in the future
Yee, I guess Daichi was just channeling his inner Kwan, and trying hard to control his own Kwan Jr. 😆
Sep 20, 2023
To:Momentie
I meant realistic in regards to like the politics and economics but yeah lol. Hard to keep things realistic in a world full of fantasy elements 😆 And crows can live for a long time actually compared to other birds, and since Paradise only lasts five years, I think he'll be fine
Sep 19, 2023
Nope. But she's on the cover because the novel is literally named after her 😆 So not really redundant for her to be on the cover. Last time we saw her was in Hanako's flashback. Dominion would be more important later on in the story.
He's just a crow lol
Sep 18, 2023
Yeah there's just two wholesome and zero wholesomeness in this chapter 😅 Just went and checked again, there's just more in the comment section now lol It'll be used less often from here though I think
Kwan channeling more of his inner Perci I see, being quite the gentleman and not taking advantage of drunken women Pretty cute chapter though. Headpats are always nice!
Woah, that was probably my fave chapter so far Some good action and then character development for Annika I don't think Kwan would take advantage of a drunk woman though? Guess we'll see though
I think the Ctrl+F picked up an extra wholesome from the comments since it was just twice in this chapter 😆 But yeah, I just think it's a fun word to use occasionally
If there's ever a sequel, I do hope Suvi returns to flesh herself out a little more
