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Xiellion

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One-third author, one-third gym rat, one-third med student.

registered at: Jun 06, 2022

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aaa

Jun 28, 2023

Some errors I found:
"Myriad cars"
"Around her neck a large, crescent shaped necklace"

I think I'm starting to get what you said about struggling with the past and present tenses, I can see it here, but it's minimal

Dominion's Paradise: IF

Chapter:5

Jun 28, 2023

I get this feeling that this might have been a really good cyberpunk entry

Dominion's Paradise: IF

Chapter:4

Jun 28, 2023

Daichi Sigma Grindset

Dominion's Paradise: IF

Chapter:3

Jun 28, 2023

man's on the grind, no time for chicks right now

Dominion's Paradise: IF

Chapter:2

Jun 28, 2023

Why does everyone want to be dominated by a non-existent mommy figure?

Dominion's Paradise: IF

Chapter:1

Jun 28, 2023

To:Deleted User

She could be Annika, but she could also not be....

(The thinking emoji is meant to imply that 😅)

Annika Says No!

Chapter:2

Jun 28, 2023

To:WALKER

thanks for the heads-up, i really need to work on that 😅

Annika Says No!

Chapter:2

Jun 28, 2023

To:☆ C l i m a x ☆

Never heard of it, but that does sound like an interesting read

Annika Says No!

Chapter:1

Jun 26, 2023

To:Koyomi

True true

Annika Says No!

Chapter:1

Jun 26, 2023

To:WALKER

still trying to work on being consistent with my prose 😅

Annika Says No!

Chapter:1

Nov 29, 2022

This reminds me of Wu Wei, the art of effortless action. If you try too hard, things can get worse.

Stuffed

Chapter:5

Nov 29, 2022

All they needed was a clear purpose to make them take action. That purpose being based on a desire to save Bliss.

Stuffed

Chapter:4

Nov 29, 2022

Sounds more like a pisstol to me.

Stuffed

Chapter:3

Nov 29, 2022

Looks like my take on the use of "they" missed the mark....

Stuffed

Chapter:2

Nov 29, 2022

I'm slightly annoyed by apple apple's comment. If you think about it, the use of "they/their" is meant to show that they do not know anything about "their" gender, because they don't know much about who they used to be and only understand what they are. It's a pretty nice detail when it comes to dealing with the mystery of their past lives.

Stuffed

Chapter:1

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