Jul 11, 2022
I've been meaning to jot down some thoughts about this now that I've finally caught up (not easy considering your speed!)
I won't lie, the subject matter is pretty alien to me, and the romance genre isn't one that I typically dive into, but from all the recommendations I couldn't pass up at least checking it out--and I'm glad I did!
This is some of the smoothest reading I've come across here, even just on a technical level. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot happening on the page, but none of it is bogged down by wieldy descriptions and long (external) monologues, which feels perfect for the story. It's so easy to just pick up and enjoy. The first-person POV here is just exceptional, and Aki's personality oozes from every single line.
As far as the characters go, I'm so torn, but in a good way. They're charming but also often infuriatingly dense, however that doesn't come across as being due to clumsy writing or fumbling interactions. Rather, it seems intentional, and that's awesome. It's hard to make conversations feel natural and well-paced, but harder than that is making conversations that are awkward and halting by design. Watching Aki talk to people is often frustrating, sometimes heart-warming, and ALWAYS entertaining. Being so well-engrained in his POV means that I can really feel when he's about to say the wrong thing, while still not knowing exactly how badly he's going to screw it up, or what the fallout will be, which is a fun balance that you strike repeatedly.
I'm keeping an open mind with the pacing. As I said, it's not my usual genre, so I don't know what to expect as far as progress goes from each chapter, but in a way that's making the experience more fun!
As far as critiques go, while I do adore how well you've captured Aki's POV, I think there are times when the internal thoughts become a bit overwhelming. I don't think this is due to the thoughts themselves, but rather the formatting. Overall I think the quick, snappy, stream-of-consciousness line breaks work wonderfully, and that natural cadence is part of what makes Aki's POV so easy to get into. However when there are clusters of short, single lines, some of which are strictly reactionary, it does feel like it interrupts the pace of a scene. I don't think this is a constant issue, but it's something I did notice as I progressed.
All in all, I picked up a story that normally I wouldn't have gone anywhere near, and was thoroughly impressed! I'm hooked, I want to see what these idiots do next!
